2015 . . .

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. ~Author Unknown

One day into the New Year, and I still can’t come up with any resolutions . . . or anything much to say . . . we feel like we’ve been sucked up into a whirlwind of people, food, fun, memories, delights, and a few too many Christmas cookies. This time last year the following observation was the closest thing I came to, making a resolution:

Whatever commands your hope will control your heart, and what controls your heart will direct your words and behavior. (Paul Tripp) (January 1, 2014)

Ryan Bell, chose an unusual of set of commands and controls for a Christian pastor in 2014, and discovered he was no longer a Christian after living a year as an atheist. (Link to article)    I don't understand how he did it – but I can see that embracing practices antithetical to one’s profession can have many repercussions. What if I chose to take a year off from my marriage, and live like I wasn’t married to Doug?  First, I don’t think he’d give me a year  -- our relationship would quickly break down, and I wager, he might not return my phone calls.

  

So, let’s look at what hope controlled me.

When I skim the journal I kept last year, the hope that God is who He told Moses He was, saw me through – but not without detours through major skirmishes with silliness, sadness and self-absorption.  

For as fast as last year went – I see days upon days of beauty and delight, and God’s faithfulness. Yet, I know what I was thinking, even as I tried to sound “spiritual.”  I hear gnawing little “Yes, but’s . . .” like the rats who sharpened their teeth on the wiring in my former car. (Rat-tled; Those Rascally Rodents Return)

I got around to completing the Year End Reflections’ “query” that I recommended in early November. Looking at the highlights, the disappointments and the game-changes for 2014, so many people I know have suffered staggering losses – horrifying experiences. Even the most modest inventory gets me off the pity pot!  I am grateful to be alive, having the wherewithal to remember and resolve!

10 Highlights – Accomplishments, Best Memory

1.              Being ALIVE to ruminate!

2.              Enjoying my best friend and husband

3.              Family reunion at a family wedding

4.              Meeting our newest grandchild

5.              Seeing other grandchildren perform in a Christmas recital

6.              Completing gift book of art projects

7.              Remembering Barbara Black

8.              Gaining the trust of a few women who want sobriety

9.              Deepening friendships

10.          Getting another commission on a painting – and finishing it!

10 Disappointments – Failures, Missed Opportunities

1.              Broken relationships that remain as unhealed wounds

2.              Failure to hear what others were trying to say

3.              Not doing what I knew I should have done, could have done or said

4.              Doing what I should not have done

5.              Seeing the cunning, baffling power of addiction

6.              Big starts to projects  -- too many remain unfinished!

7.              Caring more about my issues than others

8.              Fear of others, real and imagined

9.              Grumbling, worrying and griping about stuff I can’t control

10.          Ignoring what I can control. 

3 Things You Focused on – What you put the most of your time into

1.      Self

2.     Others

3.     God

3 Things You Forgot – What you didn’t get around to

1.     God – that He is always faithful even when I am not.

2.     Others – that many, many have wisdom worth applying.

3.     Self – Just because I have been through a lot, doesn’t mean I know it all.

Reflection. How does this inform your plans for the New Year?

1.              Don’t live like I doubt God is, or that He is beyond discovery or knowing. (Jeremiah 29:13)

2.              Or, that His word is not wise counsel for me. (Psalm 19, 119)

3.              Although all the highlights in the year have had depressing shadows, and

4.              All the disappointments were not without glimmers of light, which were not always initially apparent,

5.              God left blessed fingerprints of His grace.

6.              The biggest blessing this year, as always, has been the people – many and varied -- and I don’t want to forget in the New Year that those I love are only on loan. Don’t take people for granted! (and get over being taken for granted!)

7.              Today is all I have --therefore, spend my time wisely.  (Try Harder)

8.              In 2015, I choose to place my mustard seed-sized hope in the God who sees me, and in His word, which understands me. (Timothy Keller, The King’s Cross.) 

RAT-TLED?

My Rat-tled Buggy

It’s taken a few days to wrap my brain around what happened. A few days ago, I started my car and a yellow “Check Engine” sign flashed on, and would not turn off. I switched cars quickly with Doug and left him to cope with the problem – Thank you Doug!

When he was told what it was, both he and I were flabbergasted.

Rats had chewed through the electrical harness of my car.

(Oh, have I not mention rats are a problem in our neighborhood? That’s another story. And yes, Doug’s car go will for a check-up!)

Rodents wreaking havoc under the hood is not uncommon, whether one’s car is parked in the open or in a garage.  Repairing the damage will be expensive and time-consuming; we hope between our insurance and pest control policies, we may enjoy some financial relief – Thank God for people who know what to do! And thank you God neither of us were on a major highway when the electrical connection failed!

Imagining nasty critters furtively feasting on the engine parts of my car is unsettling. But it’s a good visual for how I feel about what’s going on in the world, our nation and the ever-unpredictable adventures in the “Golden years.”  If the car’s problems are a metaphor, something is gnawing at our collective common sense and our national engine’s light is warning us to get it checked!  And aging sure seems like a race against keeping the rats out of my chassis and the squirrels out of my brain!

Remaining vigilant so that we do not again provide a feeding opportunity for whatever it is that has a taste for auto-innards is a skill and duty we must both acquire.  God willing, we both can stay on duty, minding our habits, attitudes, and words – it’s privilege often denied to many. I’m just glad for the Mechanic who promised to remain on duty, and knows what to do when all the connections I take for granted fail.   Isaiah 46:3-5

FYI:

Tips on Keeping Your Car Rodent-Free 

Thank to my friend Marty whose question generated the title, when she heard about this mess: “Are you rat-tled?”

Living with Thorns

 

Thorns in my Garden

An unscratchable itch is one way to describe eczema, which is an irritated or inflamed skin condition. Over the past year or so, it has been a new normal for me* – teaching me lessons about dependency, embarrassment and compassion, reminding me even annoying little afflictions can help me understand bigger truths

Eczema can hurt like an unexpected thrust of a thorn; pruning roses, I know what it feels like when my hand brushes against the formidable thorns on the old rose bushes in our yard.  Its pain can be a real handicap! So, when Paul said,   “I have been given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations.”  I can now better imagine his frustration.  (2 Corinthians 12:6-10)

Granted, on a scale of handicaps, mine barely qualifies for the least of them, but when the eczema flares, all kinds of simple chores and pleasures become more complicated because my stupid fingers hurt or bleed all over the place.  And the itch is unsettling in the rapidity with which it robs me of charm.

Ugh! 

I have learned eczema is not uncommon, and it affects children more frequently than adults -- I really feel for little ones who can’t understand how to cope with the spiky itching that is a hallmark of this thing!

The exact cause of eczema is unknown, but it's thought to be linked to an overactive response by the body's immune system to an irritant. It is this response that causes the symptoms of eczema. (See WebMD – my go-to source for freaking myself out!)

So, what is irritating me?

Too much chili or barbecue? Too many tacos? Surely not!  

Or, maybe, this irritant is invisible: fear, worry, and resentments, or fatigue?

Because we aren’t certain of its causes, we have no foolproof cures. This year – when I screwed up the courage to mention my hands, folks, even younger than I, told me they struggle with crackly, dry, painful skin. Moreover, everybody has a recommendation for a lotion, ointment, or tonic, including superglue!  Some suggestions work well, others -- not so much.  

The relief comes and goes. Suddenly, tiny cracks or itchy blisters may re-appear, sending small shock waves of itchy pain. Interestingly, I can see those cracks are along the line where I formerly cut or burned my fingers or thumb or palm  – it’s as if the healing has been superficial, and beneath layers of skin, damage persists – a reminder that being past something doesn’t mean being over it. 

My faith teaches that God has separated me from my sins as far as east is from west. (Psalm 103:11-12) But I can recall details of what was buried -- which can be equally disabling and discomforting. The longer my walk with Christ, the sharper my memory seems, too!   When the memory of my meanness -- in all the nuances of that word – breaks out, precious little relieves the awful spiritual itch.  

 

The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know. We feel it in a thousand things. ~Blaise Pascal

I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart:  I am, I am, I am.  ~Sylvia Plath

Crackly skin may just qualify as another thorn, one that time and again drives me to distraction, or discipline and prayer. Like the unexpected tear on my fingers or thumb need cleansing and care, my heart does too.  I need consider cleansing and talk candidly to God like David did. (Psalm 51) Or, maybe I need comfort, balm, which only God can offer, and also the literal help of sleeping well and eating healthy stuff. (1 Kings 19)

·      The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it.  Whether he's got an abscess on his knee or in his soul.  ~Rona Barrett

·      Lord, help me not to despise or oppose what I do not understand.  ~William Penn

*(Amateur Diagnosis)

This is the day!

The first day of this New Year, 2014, is crisp, sunny and clear – but the prospect of a good old Nor'easter looms.  Such storms have changed many of our plans over the years, snowing us in our homes for days at a time . . . In 1996, our son returned from his first semester at college in Michigan, and found [to his dismay] just as much, or more, snow as he left.

NEW JOURNAL!

True to some instinctive impulse, we went to the store yesterday and bought a few essentials so we won’t starve – peanut butter, soup, coffee and milk, which neither of us drinks. We Marylanders have been known to mob stores just before a storm whose predictions are worse than their reality – depleting it of coffee, milk and toilet paper. Living in Texas has not moderated the urge.  If I am not careful, listening too closely to the Weather Channel, could keep me stocking up on stuff I will not live long enough to use.

Fear is a powerful motivator  -- and it motivates me to say and do things that are counterproductive.  Words can’t overcome fear . . . any more than stockpiles of coffee and toilet paper will protect me from a storm or tornado. Preparedness, however wise, may not always protect either.

When I came into Al-Anon’s rooms, I was surprised to hear that 90% of what we fear will happen, rarely does; it’s the other 10%, of which we rarely thought, that messes us up.  I worried a member of my family would take the whole family down with their drinking (causing me enormous shame). It never crossed my mind that a power greater than myself could and would intervene in their life and mine.

Almost forty years ago, I came to believe that a power greater than myself could do what I could not . . . and what the God of my understanding did when I let go of projecting my fears on the future changed my present. And He gave me the daily choice -- how to live in the present, letting go of fear and regret.  That’s 14,000 days mas o menos to have chosen whom or what to serve. (Joshua 24:15)

Too often, I chose to serve fear.

Fear may be a false god – but that doesn’t make it any less real.    

Whatever commands your hope will control your heart, and what controls your heart will direct your words and behavior. (Paul Tripp)

Happy New Year to thee and me, gentle reader. Hoping and praying that God of my understanding, the One who is, will guard and equip us to keep the faith He freely offers through storms, real and imagined.  (Hebrews 13:20-21)

Hurry

Thoughts today stirred from a poem, titled “Hurry.” (Gleaned from a blog,  Sober Boots)

Yesterday, I did not hurry; I spent the whole day putzing and trying to come to terms with the emotions a favorite PBS program generated.

What a gift it was.

To have a day when nothing pressed in, scolding me to “Do this now.”

We stop at the dry cleaners and the grocery store
and the gas station and the green market and
Hurry up honey, I say, hurry hurry,
as she runs along two or three steps behind me
her blue jacket unzipped and her socks rolled down.

Where do I want her to hurry to?

 To her grave?
To mine?

 Where one day she might stand all grown?

Today, when all the errands are finally done, I say to her,
Honey I’m sorry I keep saying Hurry—
you walk ahead of me. You be the mother.

And, Hurry up, she says, over her shoulder, looking
back at me, laughing.

Hurry up now darling, she says,
hurry, hurry, taking the house keys from my hands.

—Marie Howe, The Kingdom Of Ordinary Time

All the memories the poem evoked! For I hurried our kids, and Doug and myself through many days  -- days that dragged through at break neck speed.

But I found a hymn written by Kristyn Getty for her little baby girl that slowed me down – and reminded to pray:

"This world is not as it should be..."; "May my mistakes not hinder you..."; “Father hear my ceaseless prayer == o keep my children and theirs in your care. A Mother's Prayer

Beauty and Mental Health

Neighbor's Magnolia

"Well, take it all in, and see what you find."” Good advice from a favorite blog, Living with Flair, that has been whirling around my little gray cells.

It’s so gorgeous again today it almost hurts!  The wonder of yet another glorious May morning is that I did not will its arrival, nor can I prevail upon it to remain. It’s lovelier because I know it can’t stay – I have to hold it tight with open hands.  Taking it all in, though, means understanding this good day’s beauty isn’t all there is and I am simply choosing not to listen to news of the day for now.    By this morning’s  urging, I know that being present, even in troubled times, is a privilege, a privilege with the responsibility of learning and applying what today’s slice of life shows me, and remaining sane. 

So, from an older blog written by John Piper, 10 Resolutions for Mental Health I see the blessings of seeing what I can find when I take it all in, this glorious morning! 

1. At least once every day I shall look steadily up at the sky and remember that I, a consciousness with a conscience, am on a planet traveling in space with wonderfully mysterious things above and about me.

2. Instead of the accustomed idea of a mindless and endless evolutionary change to which we can neither add nor subtract, I shall suppose the universe guided by an Intelligence which, as Aristotle said of Greek drama, requires a beginning, a middle, and an end . . .

3. I shall not fall into the falsehood that this day, or any day, is merely another ambiguous and plodding twenty-four hours, but rather a unique event, filled, if I so wish, with worthy potentialities . . .

4. I shall not turn my life into a thin, straight line which prefers abstractions to reality . . .

5.  I shall not demean my own uniqueness by envy of others. I shall stop boring into myself to discover what psychological or social categories I might belong to. Mostly I shall simply forget about myself and do my work.

6.  I shall open my eyes and ears. Once every day I shall simply stare at a tree, a flower, a cloud, or a person. I shall not then be concerned at all to ask what they are but simply be glad that they are. I shall joyfully allow them the mystery of what Lewis calls their "divine, magical, terrifying and ecstatic" existence.

7. I shall sometimes look back at the freshness of vision I had in childhood and try, at least for a little while, to be, in the words of Lewis Carroll, the "child of the pure unclouded brow, and dreaming eyes of wonder."

8. I shall follow Darwin's advice and turn frequently to imaginative things such as good literature and good music, preferably, as Lewis suggests, an old book and timeless music.

9.  I shall not allow the devilish onrush of this century to usurp all my energies but will instead, as Charles Williams suggested, "fulfill the moment as the moment." I shall try to live well just now because the only time that exists is now.

10.  Even if I turn out to be wrong, I shall bet my life on the assumption that this world is not idiotic, neither run by an absentee landlord, but that today, this very day, some stroke is being added to the cosmic canvas that in due course I shall understand with joy as a stroke made by the architect who calls himself Alpha and Omega.

This morning I lift my eyes from the keyboard and see beauty – the wordless evangelist, that oak tree,  against a May morning’s sky. I hear the melody of St. Francis’ prayer – make me an instrument of thy peace . . . a work by John Rutter. (Link)

My eyes and ears urge: put on the garments of praise and gratitude – even as the morning news confirms the depths to which many are plunged. 

Take it all in and see what you find –

This morning I find time and opportunity to be useful – a time to be up and doing good, in the words of my mother-in-law.  May we both take it all in today – and see what we find; may we be useful – dear reader, Seeking not to be consoled – but to console . . .

·      I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see.  ~John Burroughs

 

edited for brevity -- well a bit.

Too Quick to Label?

A fellow blogger asked: Does it matter how we label issues or stances? How do we decide? (On Complexity and Compromise) 

Yes it matters – more than ever.

But how do we decide what issues to label, and to what end are the labels? And how unwavering must needs the stance we take be? A few years back I would have been surer of my answers.  

 I saw the solution recommended by MarshaGarbage unfold in the BBC three-part series, The Monastery. A genteel reality show, for sure, it recounted how twenty or so Benedictine monks welcomed five British men who voluntarily entered a monastery for 40 days seeking answers to their lives’ questions and discontent.  In the simplicity of their new routines within the monastery’s walls and rule, the men disconnected from 21^st century life, and entered a world of silence, contemplative prayer, and worship. Each man found more than he bargained for. 

But not because any monk argued him into changing his worldview.

The five men became open to listening to the monks because the monks demonstrated unfailing care and compassion -- concern for their guests well being.  On one level, this “reality” series demonstrated a tired platitude: Preach the Gospel at all times; use words if necessary. (Misquoting Francis of Assisi.) But, to the point, the monks’ few words matched their many deeds.

None of the monks labeled their guests – nor lectured them on their life- choices. 

Nevertheless, through their gentle questions, asked at just the right time, after hours of silence, worship and Bible study, they helped their guests come to know God, and themselves. Only once did the head of the monastery exert his authority. When a simmering quarrel amongst the guests threatened to tear apart the fabric of fellowship and spirituality that had been woven, he softly insisted that the men examine themselves and reconcile.

Few people have such an opportunity to come away from the world, think and pray. Fewer still have such an inclination. The world has embraced and is promoting life styles that are an anathema to Christian doctrine – and commonsense.  I can do very little, save putting a finger in the dyke when called to duty. But the church is faltering, much the way Christ showed John in Revelation 2-3. We all need to come away!

We may rightly sound the alarm, hoping that the world and the church will wake up and stop their foolishness – but labeling  people who are asleep is a tool requiring wisdom and forbearance – for such were thee and me before Christ intervened, and saved us.  (1 Corinthians 6:10-11)

The times are uncertain – upsetting; what I was so sure of a few years back, I am rethinking how to describe and what to do. The world will not change because I think I know a better way. But I can change.

The monks showed sensitivity; they practiced compassion; they worked to understand their guest, and served them with humility, as they showed them how to find and address root problems. At one point, a monk blessed the young man in his care – whose profession had been in the pornography industry. But he never labeled him – and made no speech about the real evil that pornography is. Subsequently, the young man embraced Christ and left his profession. Not every man embraced the Cross – but each testified the discipline, prayer, worship and fellowship changed them.

A resounding gong has no melody the world can hear – nor any harmony that appeals to many Christians, either.  (1 Corinthians 13 )

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end. (The Message)

Image source 

I Want to Report a Robbery . . .

I said to the dispatch officer.

As we left for church this morning, I noticed something amiss in the driver’s seat – and then I saw that my brand new GPS was gone! Sometime in the previous twelve hours, a person opened our unlocked car door and helped him or herself to my shiny new gadget.  They also rummaged through Doug’s unlocked car, but found nothing.

The officer who arrived within five minutes was sympathetic, took our information and asked good questions; before leaving, she reminded us to lock up our cars even when we parked in our own driveway.  And no, ours was not the only report this weekend; some neighbors also reported their cars had been ransacked, but no thefts.

Someone took our external guidance device; their internal guidance device needs replacement – roaming about in the dark testing car doors to see who’s the easiest target is foolish.  Discovering in the daylight it was us, is embarrassing – especially after all my determination to be a better steward.   

May God bless the one who stole from us with contrition. And I pray that God makes me more careful! But maybe the satellite guidance system  – or the GPS leprechauns -- could deprive those crooks of any pleasure or profit? 

Sailing Lessons

 MOVED to https://autumns-garden.com/our-sailing-adventures-a-metaphor-for-our-marriage/

About Last Night

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So, we went to the movies last week and saw The Avengers – with half of Dallas, or so it seemed. But we wanted to stir our stumps and put our minds on autopilot in a crowd, so off we went.

All I can say is WOW! Whatever troubles were on my mind before we went into the film vanished in the drama, noise and action. Evil will not stand in the face of friends who finally ignore their differences and work together – even if there was a wee bit of collateral devastation of New York.  Moreover, if these superheroes are needed on earth again, they will return. 

The promise of a returning helper is a big deal – and we’ve had one in the person of a kind plumber. We’ve been having quite a few plumbing glitches in the past two months.  First, some innards in our toilets needed replacing; then, I inserted the refrigerator’s water filter a wee bit askew – lodging it firmly, half in and half out of its holder; and most recently, the toilets backed up and were overflowing in the back yard. Maybe he felt sorry for us – or maybe he just wanted to see what else we had broken around the house.  He showed up last night around 10:30 PM to answer our latest emergency – and he drove about thirty miles to get here!

What we did was inadvertently create a fountain of water by the side of garage.

Watering after 10 PM has become a pleasant little ritual for the past several weeks. Even though the pots have been placed strategically to catch the sprinkler’s spray, several more need a drink. Doug was helping and gave the hose a tug, not suspecting the faucet was not on cooper, but thin PVC pipe – that was worn and cracked. Imagine his surprise when water gushed, full force from the remains of the broken spigot.

That was a lot of water! 

How do we turn off the water? (!) The city had reworked the access, and we were at a loss. So we called the city – whose 24 hour dispatch responded. The first help arrived within minutes as a policeman arrived with a long-handed socket wrench to unscrew the manhole cover in the alley, shut off the water, stopping the gusher, and cutting off water to the house.  He wished us well, and hoped we knew a plumber.

Well, we did – but we didn’t know his willingness to make the trek from so far on a Friday night! Although he told Doug, our call rescued him from a bad ball game, he was like our own Avenger . . . fighting against the plumbing calamities in an old house that can be caused by its maladroit owners – maybe not as critical as finding a missing Tesseract, but plumbing emergencies at night or on the weekends can be pretty upsetting.   

We had another spewing water problem two years ago – only in the winter. (A Faulty Faucet)  This time the plumber promptly came – and his readiness to help us was a great help! And fortunately, he didn’t make the mess the Avengers did in New York City.

But this little adventure reminded me there’s a lot about home ownership I still don’t know, and I’ve been doing this for quite awhile. Knowing where cut-off valves are is important – knowing helpers who show up is more so.   Be willing to help is as important as being ready to receive it, and I am grateful for another object lesson in what that looks like.  

From the quotegarden today:  

Daily Harvest for 7/7/2012:
Our deeds determine us as much as we determine our deeds.  ~George Eliot

I’ve never lost my temper

 

. . . because I know I still have it! 

Just when I think patience and self-control may be resident qualities of my character – life’s little adventures remind me though my fuse is a bit longer, it’s still combustible. Most recently, on another beautiful spring morning, facing no pressure except to get on with my day, a glitch got me – and I got mad.

My computer kept locking up; several times the tiny psychedelic ball whirled interminably, refusing to let me do what needed doing. After what seemed like the fiftieth time, I called the store to make an appointment. Apple’s automated answering machine boasted it could understand sentences – so, feel free to be specific about my problems.  I then was directed to schedule the appointment on their website.

“He-e-l-l—l-o I can’t get to your website; my computer is malfunctioning!”

 Why get so angry at an inanimate object?  It’s not like a computer cares that I am going nuts.  And yes, I yelled this into the phone, even as I knew Doug and his computer were nearby. He calmly scheduled an appointment later in the afternoon.

Then, I got on with my morning, and arrived at the Dallas Pregnancy Resource Center to be a Christian volunteer. There I found the receptionist on her knees, fiddling with the office computer. This larger and older inanimate object had also frozen up, and her considerable translation work was held hostage, threatened with erasure if she had to crash the computer – she was praying aloud while pushing buttons.

Frustrated? Yes.

Fuming? No.

And when the screen came back on, so did her work – and she praised the Lord, who is always good.  

Was there an object lesson here?

Later at the repair place, when the technician ran a diagnostic test or two, she stated the hard drive was OK, and suggested reloading the operating system.  Given my outburst –yelling at a computer – and the object lesson, maybe, I needed my operating system reloaded? (Psalm 139:23-24)

Anger is a risky emotional component in my character.   After all, as some wise soul observed: Anger is one letter short of danger.

What’s dangerous to me threatens others, too.

Will Rogers observed, “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.”  Giving into anger can harm more people than me, just as planes that make bad landings can hurt more folks than the pilot. (I Pushed Jesus!)

In my time, I have banged pans, smashed glass, slammed doors and banged cabinet doors shut – and I have yelled, removing all doubt I lost my charm – and some brain cells! It seems indulging frustration is like losing my mind – literally! The Roman poet Horace warned, “Anger is short-lived madness.”   Now science has quantified that an angry outburst destroys brain cells – definitely a diminishing asset at my age!  Therefore, this adage bears repeating:

Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you can get by with what is left.  ~ Author Unknown  

Apple’s computer-generated voice remained unresponsive to my angry outburst: I can’t access your website! 

I wonder what God’s response might have been, if, like my friend, I had prayed instead of fumed? I know Doug ’s morning would have been more serene. 

She that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and she that ruleth her spirit than she that taketh a city. (Proverbs: 16:32) – Or, in plainer language: It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city. (The New Living Translation)

A Vacation from What?

Vacation means a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess or holiday.  Yet I am connected with much that is familiar.  Right now I am describing the wonder of nothing on the agenda with familiar tools – my computer.   The grandkids bustle about in one game after another  – that is a suspension of the quiet activity is our usual routine. What’s more unusual is the view: a long slopping lawn to a dock upon a lovely lake.

Doug is across the table, also connected to news and mail. We are both connected to the world via the technology we brought with us. The TV, our little laptops have forged connections for us that were unbelievable even a decade ago.  Our son-in-law has remarked on our reluctance to disengage from cyberspace. Only the cell-phones testify to the distance we’ve come, for we are on an extended network.  Extended network means we are out range of our network and it will cost extra to chat or text.  So, in that sense I have suspended myself from my other world.

One chance encounter the other night led to a wonderful adventure day, after we unplugged ourselves.

We ate dinner at a restaurant recommended by a friend. Our waitress   mentioned Black Water Falls in West Virginia as a possible adventure. We decided to explore it and saw some great country. We took yet another hike, this one climbing down 214 steps, and back up those same 214 steps. (http://www.blackwaterfalls.com/) And yes, Doug and I did it – a bit more slowly, but successfully. Kudos to the engineers who designed and built those steps.

We stopped for a late lunch in Thomas, W VA. In some ways parts of the town seem to be reviving – people are opening shops and restaurants along the river.  A few of the shops were depressing – projecting a kind of hip hopelessness.  One gallery ‘s eclectic displays included paintings of rotting fruit and portraits of men whose age and bearing belied any dignity in humanity. Yet, alongside these displays were whimsical stick-figure prints, pottery and jewelry.  

Perhaps this experience, so soon after seeing the splendid sights of forests and falls, God’s creation, was the reality check that even the best of vacations, which this one is, can be windows into hurting hearts.                 

The Last Ten Days

Splashed across a billboard in a local shopping center is the prophecy that the world will end on May 21st this year. And this is from a prominent Christian, Harold Camping, the head of Christian Family Radio who has the money to proclaim the end is coming. Some people are acting accordingly, divesting themselves of property and pets; others are traveling around urging fellow citizens to repent and get right, for when the Lord returns, life will change for those who are at ease in their rejection of God.

I grew up saying I believed Christ will come again to judge the quick and the dead – seeing the announcement that this tenet of my faith is imminent, coupled with all news of earthquakes and wars, makes me wonder how I would spend the last ten days of my life?

Even if Mr. Camping turns out to be right, it’s only a lucky guess. Christ said nobody knows the hour of His return, including Him. (Matthew 24:36) He said when He does come it will be like a thief in the night – but everyone will see Him coming. Christ also said we are to stay busy at our work; Paul chastised those who refused to work, anticipating the Lord’s return (Luke 18:8; 1 Thessalonians 4)

But, if I knew I only had ten days to live, I would tell everybody I love how much they have meant to me; I would do my part to restore all broken relationships, and I would make restitution for all the damage I did. I would pray more to be ready to see Him. I would do whatever good I could to as many folks as I could reach – anticipating that in days I will finally see Christ, and know what He looks like, what His voice sounds like. I would be able to cope with all kinds of stuff, knowing that in ten days, I will have no more worry, pain or problems . . . no more doubts. Wow. I will see those who died in the same faith, that Christ is Lord, and God raised Him from the dead.

But, at the end of ten days, I will never again see those who do not believe God. I only have ten days to work . . . that understanding gives me no peace.

And Christ came to give me (and you) peace. (John 14:27) He also gives hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) And a purpose. (Hebrews 12:13-15)

Nothing is stopping me from doing all the things I would do if I knew May 21, 2011 were my last day – nothing except the complacency that Peter warned against. (2 Peter 3:3- 9) So, on to realize the ambitions, dreams, and the chores for the day , so I can say, with Erma Bombeck:

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.”

Going in Circles?

Years ago I was taught to think of my relationships as an increasing series of concentric circles: first is my relationship with my Maker, (Psalm 139:13-16) my husband and family, (Proverbs 31:10-31 Titus 2:2-5) and then my Christian family and those outside these circles. (Acts 18:26)

The core circle is God, who enables me to expand my devotion and duties in larger and larger spheres. Too often, though, it is the outer “circle” -- the world -- that drives me, distracting me from paying attention to God, and then my closest relationships. The result is predictable: I spin out of control, wobbling like a top, ending up in places I never intended.

Too often I project about what (I think) other people will think of how I do what I do and act accordingly -- more worried about their opinion than God’s, or those closest to me. Or, I form opinions on how and what others do, without really understanding why. So, a favorite “commentator” of mine, Eugene Peterson helps me realign my relationships. He paraphrased Matthew 6:1-4: Christ’s warning to His disciples on carrying out duties and devotions this way:

The World Is Not a Stage

"Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won't be applauding.

"When you do something for someone else, don't call attention to yourself. You've seen them in action, I'm sure — 'playactors' I call them — treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that's all they get. When you help someone out, don't think about how it looks. Just do it — quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out. (Matthew 6:1-4 from THE MESSAGE.)