The Anniversary of An Assassination

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Losing and Winning

Psalm 37:24-34

A Christian friend lost his battle with cancer recently – it was a terrible battle. His hope, and mine, is that his soul is at rest, secure in the great communion of saints, awaiting the Lord’s return.  He fought bravely – and vigorously; so did a faithful cadre of friends, who shouldered financial burdens, physical burdens and prayer burdens. 

This Christian had lost some other battles – battles with sin and temptation that may seem unthinkable to lose. And the costs of these battles were as devastating to him and others as the disease of cancer was to his body.

If a person is truly walking with God, some may begin to wonder, how could they  . . .

I don’t know. How could I have done the stuff I did – do?

Doubt, despair and all kinds of depravity do not disappear from even the most sanctified walk with God!  This trio is like cancer – and just as bewildering and deadly.  We, who know better, can do truly awful things – no matter how or when God rescued us. The Holy Spirit, Christian fellowship, preaching and the sacraments can be like – Interleukins – which sometimes stimulate the body to fight types of cancer.  However, just like fighting cancer means availing ourselves of the treatments, fighting the fallout from sins means taking concrete steps.

Screwing up – sinning – is disappointing, horrible, harmful and wrong  – Hindsight gives me a high definition picture of so much I would like to forget I did.  But, it doesn’t have to be disabling.  Confess, repent, make amends, and try again.  And when a Christian close to us stumbles, blows it, and sins – it might be God graciously holding up a mirror showing you and me where we are headed if we keep on with our own little peccadilloes.  (John 8:1-12)  So, maybe we could offer a hand? (Galatians 6:1-2)

Days before this Christian man slipped his earthly chains, he commended Psalm 16  as his help and comfort in all the battles he fought – and what is noteworthy, praiseworthy and a goad – he kept fighting; he kept living so that he might declare the praise of God. (Psalm 18:50)

My chief praise is the sword of God’s judgment has been sheathed against those whose hope is the shed blood of Jesus Christ.  And that the means of His grace still abounds is praiseworthy indeed. 

Yet, His enemy still prowls, looking for some to devour --     

Voices

Usually it is my voice I think I hear reminding me of the next thing I should be doing, or chiding me for forgetting a task. Sometimes though I hear myself remembering times past, and wishing I had done things differently. Regret is a more regular companion nowadays, changing the conversations in my head. 

Regret is a gentler attendant than another conversation changer in my head – resentment.  Resentment revives old hurts and excuses me, while blaming and accusing others. Regret also revives memories – but differently. Regret helps me own my part in a hard conversation, or a painful experience. Resentment enumerates wrongs, real and imagined. Regret keeps me off my high horse. Regret urges me to confess and repent, and to repair what I can now, first to God, and then with the people I can.

Regret tells me of hidden treasures in moments I thought would come again – or never end, and reminds me to recognize these riches happening all around me now.  Others heard and wisely counseled listening to regret, and shutting off resentment:  

·      Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.  Carrie Fisher

·      A true repentance shuns the evil itself, more than the external suffering or the shame. Shakespeare

·      A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than yesterday. Jonathan Swift

·      If you have sinned, do not lie down without repentance; for the want of repentance after one has sinned makes the heart yet harder and harder.  -- John Bunyan

·      The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. Harriet Beecher Stowe

 “Don’t let the darkness talk to [me].” Ed Welch  

Happy Christmas!

Today is a day of feasting, friendship and gaiety, often overlaid with regrets and sorrow.  Too often, “Christmas is the Disneyfication of Christianity." (Don Cupitt) I am not down on Disney – but an adventure in an amusement park leaves us stuffed, exhausted and broke – just like too many of our Christmases!

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote

We have become so accustomed to the idea of divine love and of God's coming at Christmas that we no longer feel the shiver of fear that God's coming should arouse in us. We are indifferent to the message, taking only the pleasant and agreeable out of it and forgetting the serious aspect, that the God of the world draws near to the people of our little earth and lays claim to us. The coming of God is truly not only glad tidings, but first of all frightening news for everyone who has a conscience.

I hope and pray your celebration is blessed with your heart’s desires, gentle readers, and a holy, happy knowledge that God gave His Son so that you might have life and have it abundantly. (Psalm34)

A Nightmare

 A nightmare, by its definition, is an unpleasant dream that can cause a strong negative emotional response from the mind, typically fear or horror, but also despair, anxiety  and great  sadness.   When I have them, I often awake uncertain of the details, but certain of the emotions the dream evoked. It may take me awhile to get my bearings.

Gunmen in Nigeria and suicide bombers in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iraq kill large groups of people, including women and children, creating nightmares for all the families and friends touched by the senselessness.  But, though they should, these acts do not haunt me as the act at a school in Connecticut on December 14, 2013.

Yesterday, a nightmare became a waking reality and I can’t seem to shake off the horrors attending them; I am struggling to get my bearings. So is our country – even the world, as we process the news one human slaughtered twenty-eight other human beings, twenty of whom were children, after apparently murdering his mother.  Yesterday, stirred up unanimity of reactions, expressed best by Gov. Dannel P. Malloy of Connecticut: “Evil visited this community today.”  

How we contend with evil – how we survive its onslaught – is answered in the Bible.  The prayers and counsel of many of its colorful and courageous characters wake me up. Jehoshaphat and Jahaziel, a king of Judah and a Levite, had a conversation worth repeating two and a half millennium later. (2 Chronicles 20)

Facing an invading army who meant to destroy Judah, Jehoshaphat cried out: God, act – we have no power to face this army – we do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you. And Jahaziel told the king how to fight; first by remembering the battle is the Lord’s.

Am I saying Scripture says do nothing?

The church may offer ideas on how to change laws to better guard our citizens. The reality is no law can restrain a roaring lion  – even the best laws can’t conquer evil, or people determined to destroy others. (1 Peter 5:8) Whatever our nation does in the coming weeks and months, I pray the church will call for fasting and mourning.  (2 Chronicles 7:14)

Our government is not a theocracy – God is not the head of the US of A. But He is the head of the church, and it is first within our boundaries to renounce and repent of the stuff that is sapping our strength.  We need a clean heart – and maybe we can see how serious the battles are we face with God’s enemy. (Psalm 51)  May God Himself wake us up! (Revelation 3:3) With a clean heart, then, maybe we can be useful, and rightly mourn with those who mourn, and in time,  maybe really bind up the wounds of the broken hearted.

Sing with me a  Hymn of Meditation:

I Wonder as I Wander

Sadness Image

 

Fire! Fire?

The sound of the alarm worked faster than a bottle of Geritol – dispelling all the leisure we were enjoying this Saturday morning.   I set the fire alarm off this morning – again.  A whooping siren straight away follows the five-second warning beep; the sound disables my ability to think or remember the code which I must enter into the system to silence the amplified horn’s cry for help.  Mercifully, Doug remained calm, and entered the code and checked in with the fire department – although his first impulse was to try to disable the smoke detector – an impossible aspiration with our hard-wired system.

No, I wasn’t playing with matches – I had cooked bacon in the oven, a method I’ve used for decades that enables fat to drain away while it crisps the meat evenly. (Bake bacon @ 400 degrees, 20-25 minutes, in a broiler pan with a spot of water in the base of the pan.) I had removed the bacon and was toasting the bread when the horn blasted. Nothing even smelled like smoke.

In some ways the fire alarm exercise was a concrete application of the passage in Scripture I’ve got to prepare for a class and I hate it.  David does the unthinkable.  (2 Samuel 11-12) The good part is that God sends help; the bad news is why  David needed the help! What he fancied -- what he thought was within bounds, given that he was the king -- cost more than he could pay – so others paid.  Adultery, murder, the abuse of a general and his soldiers, and a child’s death . . .

Whew. Making breakfast never was such a welcome distraction! I wanted to lay aside this study!

Having read recently of a man who perished because of fire, preceded by the smell of smoke, I am grateful we have such a sensitive system. If nothing else, the sound got my blood pumped into places I didn’t know I had. 

Serendipitously, that clanging alarm, the rush of adrenaline it brought, and then trying to describe how it all felt also keeps me from glossing over one of Scripture’s actual horror stories. I don’t do what David did!  I don’t see any smoke. But, God knows I can go A.W.O.L. often enough – never a good place to be, given I have an enemy and a tendency to do things my way.  (1 peter 5:8) And if these challenges were not enough, I live in a time when even in the church we seem to have a hard time calling evil, evil. (Isaiah 5:20-21)

And when I say we, I include myself!

I am too comfortable in my times; I nod off – ignoring and excusing how our culture or the church got to be where we are and I do the same for my own actions and desires. As Nathan, sent by God, penetrated David’s conscience effectively this week’s lesson – alarming as it is – reminded me how simply temptation(s) can corrupt decisions.  Because I haven’t done exactly what David did – doesn’t mean I can’t, or won’t.  But God has not resigned – He answers as surely as fire department did, responding quickly to the prayers that David prayed – a “fire extinguisher” worth remembering!  

^1-3Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.
   Scrub away my guilt,
      soak out my sins in your laundry.
   I know how bad I've been;
      my sins are staring me down.

 ^4-6 You're the One I've violated, and you've seen
      it all, seen the full extent of my evil.
   You have all the facts before you;
      whatever you decide about me is fair.
   I've been out of step with you for a long time,
      in the wrong since before I was born.
   What you're after is truth from the inside out.
      Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

 ^7-15 Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean,
      scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.
   Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
      set these once-broken bones to dancing.
   Don't look too close for blemishes,
      give me a clean bill of health.
   God, make a fresh start in me,
      shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
   Don't throw me out with the trash,
      or fail to breathe holiness in me.
   Bring me back from gray exile,
      put a fresh wind in my sails!
   Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
      so the lost can find their way home.
   Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
      and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
   Unbutton my lips, dear God;
      I'll let loose with your praise.

 ^16-17 Going through the motions doesn't please you,
      a flawless performance is nothing to you.
   I learned God-worship
      when my pride was shattered.
   Heart-shattered lives ready for love
      don't for a moment escape God's notice.

 ^18-19 Make Zion the place you delight in,
      repair Jerusalem's broken-down walls.
   Then you'll get real worship from us,
      acts of worship small and large,
   Including all the bulls
      they can heave onto your altar!

(Taken from Psalm 51, the Message)

Un-knitting – Another Metaphor?

I am making progress on the garter-stitch baby blanket. Will the third try be the charm? Last night I wasn’t so sure.

Having again been caught up in the latest “America Idol” show, I started knitting in the wrong direction, perhaps a hazard of using circular needles.  I don’t speak knitting lingo fluently, so, I can’t accurately diagnose my mistakes. All I know is that on one side, I had five rows, and the other had four. 

How did I manage that?

The music selections were a distraction. The contestants were performing hits from the ‘50’s and ‘60’s – My music!  Some adaptations were excellent, others not so much. So, watching the heartbreak of  elimination from the competition  sidetracked me – seeing how some said farewell with class, and others couldn’t contain their wounded pride saddened me – reminding me how well I have handled constructive criticism and “elimination.” 

But one trio of hopefuls, young women dressed ala The Supremes made me put down my knitting. All three had experience entertaining, and each one declared, before their performance, their performance background was enough so they had no need to rehearse with the band before their presentation. 

Really? 

You have professional musicians at your disposal and you think rehearsing with them before an opportunity of a lifetime would be a waste of their time and yours?   

Their performance was at best lackluster: one gal, the one whose pride marred her parting comments, was immediately disqualified; another when eliminated later broke down.  I don’t know any of their names – only their glittery pink-sequined shifts and puffy hair – and their pride, which was their downfall. To have come so far, and rebuffed generous and genuine help! (Washington Post)

Maybe that’s when I started knitting in the opposite direction?

Last night’s “American Idol” showed me a thread, however, that shook me up – how often my pride – smugness, self-importance, arrogance and conceit – took me in the wrong direction!  I have too often kept on knitting with it, wrecking good and simple patterns in my life. 

I managed to un-knit my blunder, although it took at least three tries. (Long past “American Idol!”) But, I am now ready to cast on the next color.  Those young women can’t redo their unsound decision to rely on their own experience and talent – Hope they learned from their experience as much as they taught.  

Ouch!

• There is nothing so agonizing to the fine skin of vanity as the application of a rough truth. --Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton (Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton) 
• Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)
• The sun will set without thy assistance. (The Talmud)
• A confessional passage has probably never been written that didn't stink a little bit of the writer's pride in having given up his pride. (- J. D. Salinger)  
• Pride is the shirt of the soul, put on first and put off last. (George Swinnock) 

A Series and A Sermon

I am a Masterpiece Theatre fan. Unfortunately the most recent production, “South Riding,” has been a dismal reminder how invisible the visible church was in a corner of Great Britain – Yorkshire -- in the aftermath of WWI and the Depression. No village, town or city escaped the grief WWI brought – and this dramatization portrays the troubles that are the hallmark of the early twentieth century. Great Britain mobilized 8,904,467 men; 36% of these men became casualties: killed, missing or wounded. That percentage of men, gone or incapacitated, affected the women – and it surely affected the village churches! Some have written that the established churches in this era stumbled badly and were unable to maintain moral authority. (Wayne M Riggs, "The ecclesiastical response in Britain to World War I: A study of the Church of England, the Church of Scotland, and the Roman Catholic Church" (January 1, 2008).)

Some characters in “South Riding” are spunky – feisty – taking on the task of never repeating the mistakes that led their nation into war. Others are victims -- physically, mentally, and emotionally. None have hope; none act like a power greater than themselves can save them. Even the clergyman, a powerful defender of Christian charity, is hopeless, a captive of his passions, and sinks into depressing debaucheries.

These fictional characters, and the uncertainty of their times are not so different from folks we meet today – or the times in which we live. As critical as I might be about England’s churches to “maintain moral authority,” how is the American church doing? How’s my local church doing, maintaining moral authority? And how am I doing? Are we as ineffective to influence our times as the English church appeared to be in 1934? Am I?

Serendipitously on Sunday last, the pastor described a dimension of the Holy’s Spirit’s power and authority and purpose from Acts, and offered a checklist by which I might gauge my the pressure in my spiritual tires. Just how far do I get on the power Christ offers me? By Christ’s last words, He expects that we will go far:

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." (Acts 1:8)

And then the pastor cited four marks of an effective witness by which we may test for leaks in our own witness: contrition, certainty, confrontation, and compassion.

* Contrition – How sorry am I for my sins? My answer: Like the wretched fictional clergyman in the BBC production, I am often sorry and ashamed. But then I deceive myself that what I want to do really doesn’t seem too bad.

• Certainty -- Christ said it – that settles it! My reaction, however, can wobble: Yes, but . . . too often wafts through my mind unsettling what is supposed to be settled. (Mark 9:24)

• Confrontation – By definition, confrontation is creating an intentional conflict. It means not only telling you, I think you are wrong, and why; it means walking with you – clearing the path, helping each other out. (Proverbs 24:11-12; Hebrews 12:13.) But I am too often more worried about your opinion of me than your welfare.

• Compassion – This is God’s defining attribute, and it means passing on to others the loving-kindness that drew me away from my self-centered and gave me a hope and a future. (John 4)

So, a drama series and a sermon providentially showed me how impotent and unproductive I can be when I turn down or misuse the Holy Spirit’s power. The Great War, the Roaring Twenties, and the great Depression swept through the church, and many in it were overcome by grief and sin. Times are not getting easier – and I can feel myself weakening. The first decade of this century has swept through the church, carrying as much terror, disgrace, death and destruction. But the Christ’s church, me included, has a choice and a chance:

. . . I have to write insisting — begging! — that you fight with everything you have in you for this faith entrusted to us as a gift to guard and cherish . . .
Go easy on those who hesitate in the faith. Go after those who take the wrong way. Be tender with sinners, but not soft on sin. . . . (Selected verses from Jude -- THE MESSAGE)

I Wasn’t Thinking

"Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example." Carlson's Consolation (from Murphy's Laws)


In Dallas, the temperature rarely has been cold enough for long enough to burst water pipes. Because we have vacuum breakers on the outdoor hoses, we didn’t worry about them freezing – unlike in Maryland. So with milder temperatures, we forgot you have to removes the hoses from the spigots to make the vacuum breakers function

Now we had a good warning that temps would plummet tonight – in fact if I heard it once I heard it a ga-zillion times: tonight will be the coldest night in 15 years.

So, an hour ago, snugged before the fire, we heard the TV weatherman warn about outside pipes; we looked at each other and swung into action. Doug suited up; I got some pliers. Out he went, and quickly discovered both outdoor faucets had frozen, with the hoses firmly attached. As he wrestled, with disengaging them, a young neighbor came to help.

I guess we will know later if or how much damage our lack of foresight will cost.

This is an uncomfortable reminder of one or two other things I forgot – like giving to the homeless shelters. We give, but on an inconsistent basis. I’ve known about their needs: the Dallas Morning news covers it; so does our church as a part of our urban ministry. Same Kinda Different as Me, a collaborative book by Ron Hall and Denver Moore was a powerful testimony to the pain and redemption of homelessness right in the D/FW area. But I tuned out my conscience’s pings – even last night when I wrote about the coming storms.

That’s really what “I wasn’t thinking” means.

So, I looked up quotes on excuses on my two favorite sites: Christiansquoting.com and Quotegarden.com. I found a few thought provokers:

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” - Abraham Lincoln, 1809 - 1865

The person who really wants to do something finds a way; the other person finds an excuse. ~Author Unknown

And oftentimes excusing of a fault
Doth make the fault the worse by the excuse.
~William Shakespeare

I don’t want to forget about what someone from Australia said after reading  yesterday’s blog about the monster cold storm enveloping 2/3 of their country. The writer described a set of storms hitting Australia this week in areas already devastated by floods of biblical proportions. It’s a storm on the scale of Katrina.

Here’s a reminder of how to start helping:
(The Not-For-Profits Reminder)

Praying or Just Reciting Well- Loved Words?

A familiar plea, the words sometimes come off as rote:  "Lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil [or, the evil one]." (Luke 11:4) A plainer translation makes the thought more lively: “God, keep us from ourselves and the Devil.” (From THE MESSAGE )

C.H. Spurgeon, commenting on this part of the disciples’ prayer wrote, “What we are taught to seek or shun in prayer, we should equally pursue or avoid in action.” With every prayer, I believe God shows me a path to pursue actively or avoid assiduously. Christ is my path;  my own inclinations, I must avoid, so that I won’t “tempt the devil to tempt me.” 

Getting the enemy’s attention is not smart. (See _The Oath_ by Frank Peretti)

Christ permitted the devil to tempt Him; Christ spent 40 days wrestling with real temptation  – physical, emotional and spiritual. (Matthew 4) I rarely last 10 minutes into a temptation.  And then I am where I should not be: the wrong pasture! Before I know it, I am in an argument, or misunderstanding; I’ve lost my temper, or I’m using my time unwisely, or, making unhealthy food or exercise choices. I am doing what I shouldn’t, and not doing what I should: and so become an easy prey.   I need deliverance! (Romans 7:24)

Mr. Spurgeon said of the plea, “Prevention is better than cure: it is better to be so well armed that the devil will not attack you, . . . Pray this evening first that you may not be tempted, and next that if temptation be permitted, you may be delivered from the evil one.” So I pray, God please keep me from wandering into the wrong pastures, . . . and deliver me from evil – the one who can tempt me. My worst enemy is me – and my real enemy is the devil. (Ephesians 6:10-19)

The plea is simple; the purpose is lifesaving – my own and the lives of those I love: “God, keep us from ourselves and the Devil.” It covers my husband, our children, and grandchildren – and you, dear reader.

God, I believe; Help, Thou, my unbelief – and keep these oh so familiar words from being simply a bedtime recitation!

Burned Out?

“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” 
(Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)

In the row of four walkway lights, leading to our front door, one non functioning bulb was obvious and upsetting. We just installed those!

Finding a LED  replacement bulb seemed an easy task. Proceeding down to the local Lowe’s, I anticipated no problems. However, a few cropped up – beginning with the fact, Lowe’s has (at least) two separate displays devoted to light bulbs – and in both displays, the LED bulbs are stored behind displays, in small packages, with small print.

The first cheerful, helpful sales associate directed me to a humongous display of bulbs, found one that matched the size of my burned out bulb, assuring me, this was the one; I did not read labels, for it matched the size and  shape of the one clutched in my hand. However, it  cost over six dollars, for a fixture that was less than twenty dollars!

Wavering, I moseyed over to the outdoor fixtures’ aisle  just for curiosity sake.

The sales associate in this department was also friendly but not so confident about finding a replacement bulb from another considerable large array of choices.  This area was not as well lighted as the previous display; the packages were harder to see. After the first attempt, he recommended going to a speciality light bulb store across town (a direction not helpful to a newcomer to a big city like Dallas). I then expressed my frustration that  Lowe’s would sell a fixture and no replacement bulbs! So, he searched around for other bulbs, from a series of small bins labeled with hard-to-read characters.

I then checked the box of a fixture similar to the ones we installed, and  my problem was not simply getting the right bulb and being certain it was an outdoor replacement bulb – but making sure the bulb was the proper voltage. The sales associate retrieved one; the price was better: three dollars for two bulbs. As I had become a more discerning reader of lilliputian letters, I examined the package of light bulbs the other sales associate showed me, comparing it to the packages in this department. Though the right shape and size, I now saw the former was for indoor fixtures. Therefore, though it had been recommended  confidently, it was not a match.

I am often like that row of lights leading to our front door – part of me is burned out; I shouldn’t be – but I am.  And it’s as obvious as an unevenly illuminated walk. Not only am I unattractive, I can trip other people up.   Somebody needs to replace me! 

Scripture says rest – (let God) take care of my body. (1 Kings 19)

Scripture says rest – (let God) take of my spirit. (Isaiah 30:15)

Scripture says rest – (let God) take care of my heart. (Isaiah 139:23-24)

Maybe  I  should  let God – do for me what only He will, so that light comes back on?  (Psalm 51-12-13) 

Cause of Damage: Unidentifiable?

Moisture has been a problem in our little house, especially since it was vacant for almost two years.  We can see these problems because of the unusually rainy fall.  So, we’ve replaced the gutters and down spouts and we’ve installed a French drain whose conduit to the curb seems to be working. But we found old damage – damage that had been covered up by carpet for over twenty years.  Our contractor  noticed a little rotted wood under a window.

Fearing more moisture problems  or termites we asked the floor refinisher to investigate, and we called in the pest control folks, in an abundance of caution. The workman thought it was just old moisture damage; but, the manager of the pest control company came himself to ensure they had not overlooked anything in the initial inspection and treatment. He clambered around the crawl space and pronounced it free of termite damage. Then, he recommended an extra treatment, no charge, in case the culprits were carpenter ants, who eat damp wood.

Sin remains a problem in my life, though I confess Christ has paid my debt in full; I take steps to battle it – winning many battles, and losing some painful ones. Sometimes “religion”  gets laid over the losses, covering old wounds, the way that carpet covered rotted wood.

My Carpenter, Christ, (Mark 6:3) is in the business of removing covering – especially “religious”  coverings.  What we are discovering is the vestige of sin’s damage; like those floor planks that need ripping out and replacing – the damage needs replacing. But, with what?

I still have the memories, fears, and faithlessness. Frankly, it’s easier to replace rotten wood than live with the fallout of  rebellion – mine and others.    

Though the world has seeped into my heart as relentlessly as moisture accumulates under a pier and beam home and its passions gnaw at me as determinedly as termites or carpenter ants, yet I hesitate to act; I won’t act out of the same abundance of caution I did for our home. Too often I am embarrassed to call out for help, anticipating other Christians’ rejection or derision. Worse, I doubt God cares, or, can help.

Is that what I would tell someone, though, who asked me for spiritual aid and comfort? “ Don’t bother me – or God; I don’t care and neither will He?”

No! I’d urge you to pray – I’d read you Scripture – I’d pray for you! Why is it easier, then, to tell you what to do, than to hear the Gospel for myself?

Maybe because asking God to help me shows just how feeble I am. Asking God shows me Who really is in charge; Confessing His Sovereign rule is one thing; living it is quite another. I don’t mind asking for help I can pay for – I resist anything that underscores how poor  I am.

Today, Mr. Spurgeon commented on Lamentations 3:41, "Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens." He zapped me – identifying the cause of damage:

    The act of prayer teaches us our unworthiness, which is a very salutary lesson for such proud beings as we are. If God gave us favours without constraining us to pray for them we should never know how poor we are, but a true prayer is an inventory of wants, a catalogue of necessities, a revelation of hidden poverty. While it is an application to divine wealth, it is a confession of human emptiness. The most healthy state of a Christian is to be always empty in self and constantly depending upon the Lord for supplies; to be always poor in self and rich in Jesus; weak as water personally, but mighty through God to do great exploits; and hence the use of prayer, because, while it adores God, it lays the creature where it should be, in the very dust.

And there’s always so much dust during any worthwhile remodeling! (Romans 8:29-31)

The Cost of Ownership

Time lost is too rarely realized as an irreplaceable gem until it is long gone from its setting.  A downside of our recent yard sale was the growing awareness that managing my stuff foreclosed being with people: no time to dally over coffee, take a long walk, shoot the breeze, or ask a question. No, I had to be about hauling, sorting, discarding, keeping, selling repositories of my memories, while the most valuable commodity I had – time with folks I love – slid away.  A hidden price of my treasures cost me time with my husband, a conversation with my daughter; the cost kept me from listening to my son, watching my grandchildren, and calling a friend. If I had known this unseen but real cost of all the possessions –  slated for disposal – would I have been so ready to buy? 

Renovation Lessons

Renovating an older house goes better with input from people who have done this before – folks who can predict problems. So too, the psalmists helps me renovate my broken places.

Yesterday I had the chimney cleaned; when finished the technician spotted a problem: holes in the smoke shelf. The reason this is bad is that the smoke is not drawn up through the flue but flows into the attic, creating all kinds of problems. Correcting it costs money – an unanticipated expense – but it is a safety issue. Then, I learned that new housing codes require smoke detectors in the bedrooms and not just in the hall: more money.

Nobody would know if we did not correct these problems – that is, until the emergencies ensued –such as carbon monoxide poisoning or a fire. Suddenly I am in peril, but worse, I may have put other people at risk because of my unwise thrift.

Dealing with some of my character defects is similar. Having been cleansed and forgiven by God’s grace in Christ, I daily learn of spiritual holes – habits, hang-ups and hurts – some that persist below the level of consciousness; they are as pernicious as those in smoke shelf, and as threatening as insufficient smoke alarms. Yet, if no one knows about them by me, and if I am only hurting myself, what’s the big deal?

The big deal is that neglecting the hidden stuff does hurt other people, whether I it or not. My attitude, my anxiety, causes pain, and it leads to death: a formidable assertion, but one in which the psalmist concurs (See Proverbs 14:12)

Repairing the smoke shelf will cost $700.00, and direct the fumes and smoke outside the house, out of the chimney; installing extra detectors will cost several hundred more dollars, and cut the risk of a catastrophe should a fire started behind a closed door. I will not be willfully putting myself, loved ones, or firemen at risk.

Asking God to shine His light on my heart may cost the sacrifice of ingrained habits. However, by His words, then “. . . I can see where I'm going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path.” (Psalm 119:105 from THE MESSAGE )

By those same words, He disarms me from hurting you. (Psalm 139:23-24)

The blessing is my repairs are wholly free – enabled by His grace, if I am willing.

God's Word is better than a diamond, better than a diamond set between emeralds. You'll like it better than strawberries in spring, better than red, ripe strawberries.

There's more: God's Word warns us of danger and directs us to hidden treasure.

Otherwise how will we find our way? Or know when we play the fool?

Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh! Keep me from stupid sins, from thinking I can take over your work; Then I can start this day sun-washed, scrubbed clean of the grime of sin.

These are the words in my mouth; these are what I chew on and pray. Accept them when I place them on the morning altar, O God, my Altar-Rock, God, Priest-of-My-Altar.
(Psalm 19:10-14 from THE MESSAGE)