Because I wince still when I think about the stupid escalating quarrels, I didn’t want this dear young mom to give up on the most important ministry to her kids who are fighting. So at the end of the service, I took her hand. She now looked stunned as it was my turn to blurt out my heart: I told her, it may sound crazy, but she has a high calling in the midst of fighting children. I told her not get tired or give up teaching her kids how to resolve their arguments. If we want our kids to be blessed, and called sons of God, we must teach and model peacemaking.
Yes – I know it means more work – more tears – and many, many more prayers to know how to be a peacemaker amidst fights, remembering that this is a high calling – one that the church sometimes fails to do.
Twenty years ago nobody in our church seemed candid about their family fights – and I sure was not going to be the first one to expose the problems. So Doug and I stumbled along until we started searching for and applying some Scriptures. Later we were introduced to peacemaking principles through Peacemaker Ministries. (The 4 G's) They remind us if we would be reconciled to God, we must be reconciled to each other.
Conflict is an opportunity to glorify God, Ken Sande, Peacemaker Ministries, founder. This is hard to remember when – for the umpteenth time – the kids start fighting. These fights have prompted many to call “Super-Nanny,” an engrossing character on a reality show. She shows frazzled families how introducing a firm, loving hand, a simple system of warnings, disciplines and rewards, and practicing them consistently brings order to disorderly homes. How much more will God help us when we come under His care, learning to apply His principles!
Here’s a starting point: Peacemaker Ministries has organized some Scripture into acronyms, one of which is the 4-G’s.( Link)
Get the log out of your own eye
Go and be reconciled.
Think about the 4-G’s when your kids fight. I know, dear mom, you are tired – hurting – and perhaps at your wits’ end. Your kids’ fighting horrifies and dismays you – but you are there for a reason, and it isn’t just to keep giving them time-outs or threatening them with their father’s wrath. You are their teacher who points them to Christ, the only Mediator between God and them, and shows them the power that is theirs when they learn how to please God, and use disciplined, loving words to describe how they feel. It’s not too late!