First Seasonal Warning – from the Dryer

Hang the weather – although it looks grim on the east coast. On the first trip to the washer/dryer early this morning, I discovered the small load I hoped to simply switch into the dryer was somewhat soggy – like the spin cycle decided to go home early. What was OK was the separate bag of unmentionables that is labeled wash by hand – but I not a hand washer. (I am a hand wringer!)

Figuring perhaps the little sack had unbalanced the spinner, I removed them and threw in a dry bath towel. Note the verb.

No . . . the spin cycle drained little water away.

The third time was the charm . . . however, this time I took time, and repositioned the few pieces. Perhaps we have dodged a repair bill – a ten years old dryer can be like me – some innards are flat out tired of doing the same old thing, and I may just not do what I need to do as hard as I need to do it.

The dryer may not need a tune up now, but I do.

As the flu buggies recede, I can see what needs doing, and a wave of panic is wearing out my motor as surely as the lopsided load unbalanced the dryer. I hate that sound -- like The Hulk is trying to break out of the dryer when I’ve crammed too much into the machine, or too carelessly. 

With all the down time, I managed to scour PINTEREST’s quotes and humor, and realize the past few days of enforced rest hasn’t been all bad. (I stayed away from projects, presents, and meals) I don’t want to go out of 2014 like the hulk.

I have no warranty on the dryer – but I found a pin I pass along hoping it keeps me in good working order for a while longer – and I hope it’s better than a shot of WD-40 for you, dear reader.  

 

Or, for the upcoming Holidays. . . 

The Anniversary of An Assassination

 Hello !
Please come on over to a new corner of my autumn's garden!

https://autumns-garden.com/the-anniversary-of-an-assassination/

“It’s A Control Thing.”

That’s how a good friend confesses how he can generate unwarranted conflict.  And that “thing” is the root of how I can get so tied up in knots, and often the reason we all explode in angry declarations or in icy silences when conflict erupts. And many of us – even in the church -- go to great lengths to control people, places and things.  Such methods demonstrate a hard heart, and an unsoundness of mind; this type of control can generate needless conflict.

Not all conflict is bad – great solutions are often forged from opposing points of view. Frank A. Clark, a newspaper writer known as  "The Country Parson," wrote, "We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. "

Humans disagree; we take different positions because we are many and varied. Conflict is part of life – it shouldn’t be surprise me.  (John 16:33) But it always does.

Recently, I’ve experienced two painful examples of folks going to great lengths to get their way.  In both cases the folks who asserted control inflamed a smoldering conflict and my feelings were singed because of how both chose to express their frustrations. (So also, others’ feelings were hurt.)

One person with “a control thing” kept a fight going after her death – using her will to pronounce judgment in a conflict that started fifty-four years ago.  Another person immortalized her displeasure with me in a public e-mail; when she hit “send,” she communicated the same kind of public condemnation as the will.   Both people had conflicts they sought to control instead of resolve. Both people wounded others who read their words.

But will their angry words gain them the desired control over the people and situations?  Did they “win” the conflicts because they got the last word?

The person who chose to get the last word in the will is beyond all that now, and I can’t be a part of resolving a conflict taken to the grave. How she did what she did, though, changed how I will remember her – robbing me of the assurance she was a friend. Painful as this is, her method of control reminds me, if I can’t overlook an offense, go to the person and talk it out.  If that doesn’t work out, remember what Thumper’s mom advised: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Now, the author of the very public e-mail achieved a measure of control – public scolding stings.  And I hope God will use what was written in anger, for good.  Though she insisted I never contact her again, I hope I have the courage, when God makes a way, to reconcile this painful breech.  

Letting go of resentment is a first step. A quote from a children’s classic wisely counsels how to let go of people, places and things:

 
"The horror of that moment," the King went on, "I shall never, never forget!"  

"You will, though," the Queen said, "if you don't make a memorandum of it. 

 ~Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass, 1872

A bigger step is remembering I don’t control other people.

• People are different and want different things. That’s the SPARK of conflict. 
• Differences get worse when sinful selfishness and pride drive our actions. That’s the GASOLINE of conflict. 
• Destruction results when we  . . . allow our sinful desires [to drive] our words and actions. That’s the FIRE of conflict. (Ken Sande, Resolving Everyday Conflict, pp 11-12) 

I say I am a follower of Christ – that means I know He did not die and leave me in charge. (Matthew 6:25-34)  Therefore, let go of anger!  “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." (Ambrose Bierce) And being willing to let go and let God act, listening before I speak – or write -- might dampen the embers of resentment and fireproof a few of our more combustible relationships.    

 "O that you would be completely silent,  And that it would become your wisdom!" (Job 13:5)

A link to an article really worth your time

Preemptive Peacemaking

http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2011/winter/preemptivepeace.html

It will take about twenty minutes to peruse -- but many hours to ponder.

Blessed are the peacemakers -- for they shall be called the sons of God.

Cold Water In Loving Cups:

A Ministry?


Cable news succeeds in outlining, describing and reiterating what Paul observed: the days are evil  – These are desperate times! (Ephesians 5:16) And the times affect the very people who create them. (John 13:34, Matthew 5:44) Paul saw his generation and described ours:


        . . . People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life . . .   Refusing to know God, they soon didn't know how to be human either — women didn't know how to be women, men didn't know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men — all lust, no love . . .  And it's not as if they don't know better. They know perfectly well they're spitting in God's face. And they don't care — worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best! (Romans 1:18-32 from THE MESSAGE )

People who believe God live in the midst of people who do not believe in Him, and our charge is to love each other and nonbelievers with love. How do I do I do this?

First, remember that but for God’s grace – and the loving forbearance of several Christians – I might be far worse than the Romans Paul described. Second, ask for a heart that loves – and a will that serves; neither one is second-nature to me. Third, put away the fire hose. I am learning offering cold water in loving cups is one way  –  though I used to think a fire hose of hot water was one way to quench the "opposition." Fourth pray for Christians who are visible – that they are transparent and effective witnesses of Jesus the Christ.


Finally, I found this e-mail from Peacemaker Ministries quite helpful on how to reconcile, live at peace, among and with “enemies.”

    Don't Drop Your Weapons!


    Paul also understood that God has given us divine weapons to use in our quest for peace. These weapons include Scripture, prayer, truth, righteousness, the gospel, faith, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Eph. 6:10-18; Gal. 5:22-23). To many people, these resources and qualities seem feeble and useless when dealing with "real" problems. Yet these are the very weapons Jesus used to defeat Satan and to conquer the world (e.g., Matt. 4:1-11; 11:28-30; John 14:15-17). Since Jesus chose to use these weapons instead of resorting to worldly weapons, we should do the same.

    (Adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 248)


    Food for Thought

    What weapons do you tend to use when you are in a conflict?

    When we finally decide to reconcile with an enemy, we sometimes approach them with an attitude of "dropping our weapons.” But Jesus never calls us to be unarmed or passive among our enemies. To the contrary, he calls us to lay down our ineffective worldly weapons (like defensiveness, anger, self-justification, and gossip) in order to take up the truly heavy artillery (like love, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control). Take time today to read Romans 12:14-21 and resolve to take up again the weapons for which the Lord sacrificed so much to equip you.


Romans 12:14-21


    Bless those who persecute you; bless and curse not.

    Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

    Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.

    Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.

    If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.

    Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord.

     "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head."

    Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (NASB)