The View from My Window – A Well-Watered Garden

Thomas Fuller, said to have been the source of many of Benjamin Franklin’s proverbs, wrote in Gnomologia, in 1732, “We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.” I can see the worth every time I look out our front window!  One house across the street to my right uses an automatic watering system; the one to the left does not. On the left, the house’s lawn is burned brown; the lawn next door is lush green. Last summer, this was not so. 

But last summer in June we had not had so many days of triple digit heat accompanied by a relentless wind. That wind has made the heat tolerable for me, but it has stressed the plants and lawns.  The red maple we planted earlier this spring requires an extra weekly, sustained spray of water, though it’s getting watered twice a day by the sprinkler.

The view reminds me of the wonder of water in dry spells – and the news reminds me of the terror of a drought.  Literal droughts are dangerous, and spiritual droughts are as threatening.  Parts of Texas, among other states, are battling now the consequences of drought.  The smallest unintended spark has ignited harmful fires. 

Fights in the church are often more costly – burning up resources, and burning out pastors and other servants. (See The Cost of Conflict)

·      Born again Christians in the U.S. file 4 to 8 million lawsuits every year, often against other Christians, costing 20 to 40 billion dollars.

·      There are approximately 19,000 major, scarring church conflicts in the U.S. each year (an average of 50 per day).

·      32% of born again Christians who have been married have gone through a divorce, virtually the same percentage as our general population.

·      1,500 pastors leave their assignments every month in the U.S. because of conflict, burnout, or moral failure, costing the church at least $684 million each year.

Clearly, more than a few of us should check and see if we are rightly connected to the source of life and refreshment. (John 4:11, 7:38) Or we need to change our names! (Acts 11:26) Others of us should see how frequently we are being watered, and increase it.  (Isa 58:11)  Heat, drought and wind will wreck real gardens. Persecution, a dearth of sound teaching and unresolved conflict will cut a swathe through our Christian witness.

The class I’m teaching on peacemaking teaches me many everyday conflicts can be resolved; the view outside my window shows what ignoring conflict can look like.

God willing, you and I dear readers will be like well-watered gardens – repairers of the seemingly growing breaches in the walls of our nation, church and families. 

I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places —

                  firm muscles, strong bones.

You'll be like a well-watered garden,

                 a gurgling spring that never runs dry.

You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,

                 rebuild the foundations from out of your past.

You'll be known as those who can fix anything,

restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,

make the community livable again.  (Isa 58:11-12 from THE MESSAGE.)

 

Where’d All that "Glorious Texas" Weather Go?

It always happens.

I get all my winter clothes sorted, cleaned and stored; my spring and summer clothes arranged and culled, and the weather changes from warm and balmy to chilly and damp. All that “glorious” Texas sunshine is playing hide and seek – quickly disappearing.

All my newly planted flowers look alarmingly defenseless as the squirrels are still burrowing for the remains of last years acorns. I shooed off one fat and furry fellow from the edge of the pot in which I hope the freesia will flourish.

And I am as thankful for our gas fireplace logs, as I was at Christmas a year ago.

“[S]he who sits by the fire, thankless for the fire, is just as if [s]he had no fire. Nothing is possessed save in appreciation, of which thankfulness is the indispensable ingredient.” (W.J. Cameron, an 19th century explorer and entrepreneur)

“. . . Nothing is possessed save in appreciation . . .”

My appreciation of my family’s safety is deepened by a recent photo of a young Japanese woman sitting, knees clasped, mourning, amidst the rubble of what may have been her home. So many Japanese parents lost their children, so many children, their parents – brothers gone, sisters, lost – the comfortable familiar is now a nightmare. Just as so many Haitians lost their families.

We live in days wherein the luxury of gratifying anger, nurturing resentment, or perpetuating misunderstandings is prohibitively expensive. The cosmos is too changeable – and life is too short to abuse the relationships God has established.

Some aids so you may more fully appreciate the folks around you:

A patient man has great understanding,
but a quick-tempered man displays folly.
A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones. (Proverbs 14:29-30)

A man's wisdom gives him patience;
it is to his glory to overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11)

Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
for anger resides in the lap of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

A link to an article really worth your time

Preemptive Peacemaking

http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2011/winter/preemptivepeace.html

It will take about twenty minutes to peruse -- but many hours to ponder.

Blessed are the peacemakers -- for they shall be called the sons of God.

WORMS

Worms are many and varied; some are helpful – the slimy, slinky ones, that is. Others are not – like the one that invaded my computer. Suddenly I found my browser going to strange internet sites. Doug spent two days and nights trying to root the “critter” out. This meant I was unable to complete my preparation for guiding a discussion group, “Having Difficult Conversations: Living out your calling as a peacemaker.” (Matthew 5:9) 

This little class is a passion on mine – helping Christians rein in the power of conflict in their relationships.  Conflict is a difference of opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires. (_The Peacemaker_ , Ken Sande, p. 29) And I was in conflict with my computer! When I calmed down, and realized the reality that no computer was what it was – and nothing but patience and perseverance would root out the invader,  I thought about the great metaphor this setback was for the trouble conflict often creates.

Conflict, like stress, is not always bad; it can motivate creative thinking; it can be a great teacher – showing us things we would never learn otherwise. Yet unresolved conflict splits apart people – wrecking relationships and churches.  I believe we can do better, but we often do not – because what we want gets in the way of resolving and reconciling conflicts.

Conflict erupts, and we often cannot see why or how we clash with another; another person and I differ, and this is frustrating an idea, emotion or need I feel deeply. And like that computer worm took me places on the internet I didn’t want to go, conflict also takes me where I don’t want to go. James did a great job describing the wormy places that unreconciled conflict can lead me – and why:

“Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they         just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you?  And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way.” (James 4:1-3, The Message, emphasis added)

I needed outside help conquering the computer worm; it took time and skill. How much more do I need help in rooting out the causes of conflict in my heart and in the relationships God established! God is great “tech support” in unresolved conflict – He is the only one who knows the depth and breath of the infection. (Jeremiah 17:9-10) And He is the only help who can diagnose and heal all the worm holes my pride and self-centeredness dug. (Psalm 107:20-21; Isaiah 53:5; Jeremiah 17:14) He is the only reliable shield against the viruses infecting our hearts. (Psalm 18:30) 

And for what it is worth, He answered my prayers, helping Doug; the computer works for now – though that worm may still wreak havoc – again a picture of the dangers unresolved conflict creates! (Hebrews 12:15-16)


Image Source

Current Events – Saying You Are Sorry to All the People You Offended.

When Representative  Joe Wilson  responded to the President’s assertion that illegal aliens would not be entitled to health care, he shouted, “You lie!” This assertion offended the President, the Congress, his South Carolinian constituents, and me. He apologized to President Obama who graciously accepted it. However on a news program Representative Wilson declared his refusal to apologize to anyone else and cited his civility.

The U.S. House of Representatives sit because of the shed blood of millions of Americans. I hope Rep Wilson will take the next step and apologize setting a concrete example of civility

Christ warned his followers that if you even suspect someone has something against you, make it right. (Matthew 5:23-25) It’s good advice for all of us – regardless of religion.

If I blow it, onlookers are sometimes as wounded as the person who was the brunt of my frustration. Taking the time to think about what I said and whom I may have harmed is time well spent; and having the courage to ask forgiveness from all whom I offend  – without inserting excuses – is part and parcel of being blessed by God. (Matthew 5:9)

Seven A's of Confession (From Peacemaker Ministries)
 
As God opens your eyes to see how you have sinned against others, he simultaneously offers you a way to find freedom from your past wrongs. It is called confession. Many people have never experienced this freedom because they have never learned how to confess their wrongs honestly and unconditionally. Instead, they use words like these: "I'm sorry if I hurt you." "Let's just forget the past." "I suppose I could have done a better job." "I guess it's not all your fault." These token statements rarely trigger genuine forgiveness and reconciliation. If you really want to make peace, ask God to help you breathe grace by humbly and thoroughly admitting your wrongs. One way to do this is to use the Seven A's.

   1. Address everyone involved (All those whom you affected)
   2. Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
   3. Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
   4. Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
   5. Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
   6. Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
   7. Ask for forgiveness

See Matthew 7:3-5; 1 John 1:8-9; Proverbs 28:13.