A New Wrinkle

Wheels for the World

It’s been a pain, awkward and persistent – the problem with my hands. Not having the unlimited use of my hands is a constraint I never imagined. Mercifully, I am getting a taste, albeit on an infinitesimally small scale, of being disabled and dependent -- it’s been a prod to get me off the pity pot and take a good look at others, whose problems are more aggravating, discomforting and relentless. Multiple Sclerosis is worse. So is Parkinson’s. And this problem isn’t cancer, a genetic birth defect, or degenerative spine disease.   It may look like leprosy; but, it isn’t leprosy, for Pete’s sake! However, coming up with a remedy for a relatively benign problem has not been so simple. Three different doctors have told me three different things: It’s eczema; or, psoriasis or most recently, it may be contact dermatitis – similar and not similar.  Since I am working on my medical degree through WebMD, I had questions. Twice I asked the dermatologists if there might be a connection with my skin issues and nickel levels in Apple computer – they began shortly after I became an Apple user.  (Nickel in Apple products) They didn’t think so.  So, again using a new mixture of their prescriptions and OTC products, I noticed my skin began to calm down. Then when Doug got me a protective covering for the computer’s keyboard and a case, the calming became marked! Whether this has been an allergic reaction, or an immune deficiency, or just life, I can more deeply empathize with the one leper who came back to thank the Lord.  (Luke 17:11-19) Relief is sweet! So, while trying to tame the flare-ups of dry, cracking skin these past two years, I’ve learned that many folks, even younger than I, struggle with skin issues.  When I have screwed up the courage to mention my problem, my friends have been happy to pray for healing – asking me to pray for them, too!  Moreover, everybody has a recommendation for a lotion, ointment, or tonic, including superglue – some work well, others -- not so much. The persistent kindness of those who have prayed for me has been a balm of deep healing, reminding me to thank God, who stirred up and hears our prayers for each other, and who gives relief. Today, I pray for those whose pain and dependency remains deep and discouraging – specifically like Joni EarecksonTada, herself a quadriplegic, who urged: I pray for mothers of spina bifida children in Mozambique. I pray for men who become paralyzed from falling out of palm trees in the jungles of the Philippines. I pray for mentally handicapped children in the closed areas of North Korea or western China. And I pray for the people who care for the afflicted, injured and needy – please refine their skills, and meet their needs Lord.  And keep me from driving them nuts with my little problems.  o      Gratitude is the least of the virtues, but ingratitude is the worst of vices. ~Thomas Fuller o      The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. ~ Theodore Rubin, an American psychiatrist and author o      Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. ~Johan Paul Richter, Flower, Fruit, and Thorn  Amateur Diagnosis

Joni & Friends

A Poet and Friend -- Barbara Black

No Do-Over

She was tired, caught up in a marathon legislative session, and hit the wrong button, but because hers was the deciding vote, Rep. Becky Carney, a five-term Democrat from Charlotte NC could not have a do-over. A fellow legislator said: “There was nothing she could do about it,” he said, in an interview. “There was nothing that can be done.”(Read More)

But, what was refreshing about the revelation of Ms. Carney’s blunder was her courage: "It was a huge mistake," Carney said afterward. "I take full responsibility."(Read More) (Emphasis added)

Laying aside the merit of what Ms. Carney’s mistake enabled, a measure that lifts the ban on hydraulic fracturing as a means for mining for natural gas, her trouble struck a cord. How often has fatigue or fear in the midst of my life’s little battles been the reason I hit the wrong button – saying, doing, or thinking the opposite of what I know to be right? 

 Whew . . . a bunch! More to the point, however, is the reminder – the best reasons in the world for doing wrong is never an excuse for not owning the blunder and making amends. 

From the errors of others, a wise man corrects his own. 

(Syrus – 1^st century BC writer of maxims)

So much I can’t do-over – even as I knew the instant the words escaped my lips, or the actions hit my memory banks, I was out of bounds.  My hope is in God who accepts my confession and repentance and enables me to do the next thing – apologize and make restitution. (Psalm 51)

We never need to long for security, stability, or better outcomes in our life.  We can learn how these gifts are contained in our own actions. (Anonymous wisdom)

A Blast from my Past:

Yelling

Photo by Keith Baker
Copyright 2010 Capitol Broadcasting Company

 

SPILLS

Up early this morning, I thoroughly enjoyed a leisurely pace – putzing – and settled down to inscribe and address a stack of recently purchased birthday cards for friends whose birthdays occur in the next few days.  Carefully selecting them, I anticipated a few moments reflecting about the people and how they have been a blessing in my life, most for many years. I slowly reached for my coffee . . .

And overturned the blasted cup all over the dining room table!

·      Do you know how much coffee is in one little old mug?

·      Do you know how far that half-cup can reach on a Monday morning? 

Every single card got baptized!  (So did the newspaper, my Bible study guide,  some books and a couple of placemats. ) Hustling into the kitchen, retrieving towels, I moped up the mess – assisted by  my wonderful husband who sprang to attention when he heard me yell: “Tell me I did not just do that!”

Happy Monday.

Now stained with coffee, and drying out on the stove top, the cards no longer are fresh and cheery salutations; they look weary and worn.

Dare I send them? 

 On the one hand – a few were one of a kind; on the other, so are the people to whom they are going – new friends and old, family and in-law, all dear, and each unique.  A few might think the coffee stains were an intentional part of a new paper pattern – but most friends would see the creepy patterns now adorning the envelopes, and the return address and know exactly what happened!

Alas – among its other excellent properties, the fresh, hot coffee sealed too many of the envelopes too firmly – rendering them decorated but useless.

However, the upside is I was nowhere near the computer this time when I overturned my coffee!

·       Bad is never good until worse happens.  ~Danish Proverb

·      Every path hath a puddle.  ~George Herbert, "Jacula Prudentum"

Time Flew

Last night wasn’t the best use of my time, and the host told me what the experience would be like before the party started: a bunch of millionaires giving gold statues to each other. He was right – that’s all Oscar's night was.

The film clips from the spectrum of movies honored suggested artists had been at work – the presenters and recipients’ words, no so much.  But I “taped” it so I could speed through the commercials or other boring portions. So, I pressed on.  The recording stopped itself, however, in the middle of one of the last speeches – Meryl Streep’s – almost as if the recorder were saying: “Enough!”

No wonder I make so little progress on my great American novel!

Unlike the time I have spent watching “America Idol,” she wrote defensively, and then realized she was without excuse for the management of her time.  

 Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.  ~Carl Sandburg

Fire! Fire?

The sound of the alarm worked faster than a bottle of Geritol – dispelling all the leisure we were enjoying this Saturday morning.   I set the fire alarm off this morning – again.  A whooping siren straight away follows the five-second warning beep; the sound disables my ability to think or remember the code which I must enter into the system to silence the amplified horn’s cry for help.  Mercifully, Doug remained calm, and entered the code and checked in with the fire department – although his first impulse was to try to disable the smoke detector – an impossible aspiration with our hard-wired system.

No, I wasn’t playing with matches – I had cooked bacon in the oven, a method I’ve used for decades that enables fat to drain away while it crisps the meat evenly. (Bake bacon @ 400 degrees, 20-25 minutes, in a broiler pan with a spot of water in the base of the pan.) I had removed the bacon and was toasting the bread when the horn blasted. Nothing even smelled like smoke.

In some ways the fire alarm exercise was a concrete application of the passage in Scripture I’ve got to prepare for a class and I hate it.  David does the unthinkable.  (2 Samuel 11-12) The good part is that God sends help; the bad news is why  David needed the help! What he fancied -- what he thought was within bounds, given that he was the king -- cost more than he could pay – so others paid.  Adultery, murder, the abuse of a general and his soldiers, and a child’s death . . .

Whew. Making breakfast never was such a welcome distraction! I wanted to lay aside this study!

Having read recently of a man who perished because of fire, preceded by the smell of smoke, I am grateful we have such a sensitive system. If nothing else, the sound got my blood pumped into places I didn’t know I had. 

Serendipitously, that clanging alarm, the rush of adrenaline it brought, and then trying to describe how it all felt also keeps me from glossing over one of Scripture’s actual horror stories. I don’t do what David did!  I don’t see any smoke. But, God knows I can go A.W.O.L. often enough – never a good place to be, given I have an enemy and a tendency to do things my way.  (1 peter 5:8) And if these challenges were not enough, I live in a time when even in the church we seem to have a hard time calling evil, evil. (Isaiah 5:20-21)

And when I say we, I include myself!

I am too comfortable in my times; I nod off – ignoring and excusing how our culture or the church got to be where we are and I do the same for my own actions and desires. As Nathan, sent by God, penetrated David’s conscience effectively this week’s lesson – alarming as it is – reminded me how simply temptation(s) can corrupt decisions.  Because I haven’t done exactly what David did – doesn’t mean I can’t, or won’t.  But God has not resigned – He answers as surely as fire department did, responding quickly to the prayers that David prayed – a “fire extinguisher” worth remembering!  

^1-3Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.
   Scrub away my guilt,
      soak out my sins in your laundry.
   I know how bad I've been;
      my sins are staring me down.

 ^4-6 You're the One I've violated, and you've seen
      it all, seen the full extent of my evil.
   You have all the facts before you;
      whatever you decide about me is fair.
   I've been out of step with you for a long time,
      in the wrong since before I was born.
   What you're after is truth from the inside out.
      Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

 ^7-15 Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean,
      scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.
   Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
      set these once-broken bones to dancing.
   Don't look too close for blemishes,
      give me a clean bill of health.
   God, make a fresh start in me,
      shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
   Don't throw me out with the trash,
      or fail to breathe holiness in me.
   Bring me back from gray exile,
      put a fresh wind in my sails!
   Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
      so the lost can find their way home.
   Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
      and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
   Unbutton my lips, dear God;
      I'll let loose with your praise.

 ^16-17 Going through the motions doesn't please you,
      a flawless performance is nothing to you.
   I learned God-worship
      when my pride was shattered.
   Heart-shattered lives ready for love
      don't for a moment escape God's notice.

 ^18-19 Make Zion the place you delight in,
      repair Jerusalem's broken-down walls.
   Then you'll get real worship from us,
      acts of worship small and large,
   Including all the bulls
      they can heave onto your altar!

(Taken from Psalm 51, the Message)

Un-knitting – Another Metaphor?

I am making progress on the garter-stitch baby blanket. Will the third try be the charm? Last night I wasn’t so sure.

Having again been caught up in the latest “America Idol” show, I started knitting in the wrong direction, perhaps a hazard of using circular needles.  I don’t speak knitting lingo fluently, so, I can’t accurately diagnose my mistakes. All I know is that on one side, I had five rows, and the other had four. 

How did I manage that?

The music selections were a distraction. The contestants were performing hits from the ‘50’s and ‘60’s – My music!  Some adaptations were excellent, others not so much. So, watching the heartbreak of  elimination from the competition  sidetracked me – seeing how some said farewell with class, and others couldn’t contain their wounded pride saddened me – reminding me how well I have handled constructive criticism and “elimination.” 

But one trio of hopefuls, young women dressed ala The Supremes made me put down my knitting. All three had experience entertaining, and each one declared, before their performance, their performance background was enough so they had no need to rehearse with the band before their presentation. 

Really? 

You have professional musicians at your disposal and you think rehearsing with them before an opportunity of a lifetime would be a waste of their time and yours?   

Their performance was at best lackluster: one gal, the one whose pride marred her parting comments, was immediately disqualified; another when eliminated later broke down.  I don’t know any of their names – only their glittery pink-sequined shifts and puffy hair – and their pride, which was their downfall. To have come so far, and rebuffed generous and genuine help! (Washington Post)

Maybe that’s when I started knitting in the opposite direction?

Last night’s “American Idol” showed me a thread, however, that shook me up – how often my pride – smugness, self-importance, arrogance and conceit – took me in the wrong direction!  I have too often kept on knitting with it, wrecking good and simple patterns in my life. 

I managed to un-knit my blunder, although it took at least three tries. (Long past “American Idol!”) But, I am now ready to cast on the next color.  Those young women can’t redo their unsound decision to rely on their own experience and talent – Hope they learned from their experience as much as they taught.  

Ouch!

• There is nothing so agonizing to the fine skin of vanity as the application of a rough truth. --Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton (Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton) 
• Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)
• The sun will set without thy assistance. (The Talmud)
• A confessional passage has probably never been written that didn't stink a little bit of the writer's pride in having given up his pride. (- J. D. Salinger)  
• Pride is the shirt of the soul, put on first and put off last. (George Swinnock) 

The “Whether” Report

The short-term forecast is dismal – many more days of 105+ heat. Yet, I have lived long enough to know, the weather will moderate, delight, and then bring blustery gusts of freezing temperatures.  Reports of riots in London, financial downturns, upheavals in the Middle East, and our own decade-long war against terrorism coupled with all the news I get of my friends’ problems and trials are as potent arrows that worry and wound me.  I feel as powerless as one impaled by a volley of them.  I am as powerless!   

The only power I have is deciding what I will do with what is my portion of life.  And then, doing it.  I can’t change the weather, quell rioters, or save the world from its folly and cruelty; I can’t protect any one from life’s “reproofs” – whether they are broken transmissions and water pumps, illnesses, old age, or Christians’ failures to act like Christians  -- probably the most painful of all.  

So, why can’t I remember that? Why do I spend [so much] time critiquing, kibitzing and worrying?  (Matt 6:25-34)

Probably because it is still easier to cluck like some mad hen over other stuff than settle down and tend my own nest.

You and I live in times that are important as those proceeding the Great Depression, World War I and II.  Our rulers and leaders are much as those were who lead people into and through those dreadful times.  What’s somewhat different is the 24/7 news reporting. We also live in times when many of us don’t have family, farms, or faith to sustain us when we lose our jobs or health.  And the 24/7 news reporting can underscore our helplessness.  Are we really only expendable [nameless] cogs in a mighty machine of worldwide destruction? 

 God, I hope not!

Is that hope in a meaning, purpose and power that is greater than myself, and those around me, just wishful thinking?  Is faith in God nothing but an evolutionary adaptation that keeps men from giving up?

Does the squirrel that wrecks my flower garden imagine a creator who hides acorns just for it? 

I wasn’t created to be a commentator on God’s ways – or yours. But, I can communicate His grace. (Isaiah 55)  I can tell you – and me -- cooler days are coming to Dallas, for they always have; at the same time I must tell you and myself, today is all we have.   And too many are dying without knowing the Creator God who gives them a hope and a future: Truth is nowhere to be found, and whoever shuns evil becomes a prey.  The Lord looked and was displeased that there was no justice.  He saw that there was no one, he was appalled that there was no one to intervene . . . (Isaiah 59:15-16)

Living in air-conditioned comfort today, knowing where I have a bit of food and a change of clothes, and having time to reflect on the Scriptures is an mind-blowing blessing, then, isn’t it? How will I spend it?

Today I got an e-mail devotional from Joni Eareckson Tada who described people she met who do not know there is reason for their afflictions – and reminder that even a quadriplegic has work to do:

I was at a loss for words when a young disabled girl in Bangalore, India told me, "My aunt said I would have to go through eight reincarnations before I could become a whole person."  A doctor from New Delhi said, "Most people do not consider autistic children to be human."  On that same trip while I was in Africa, I met mothers who were beaten because they gave birth to a child who was blind or disabled.  A man told me his cerebral-palsied sister was left out in the jungle for the animals to take; "My parents thought it would appease the animist spirits," he said.   In Southeast Asia I met people who thought disabilities were "curses from the shamans in the village."  My heart broke when several disabled women told me they were "easy targets for abuse."

Isaiah lamented, "Truth is nowhere to be found... Is there no one to intervene?"  This is the commission God has given us.  Jesus is "the way, the truth and the life" (John 14:6).  When we follow his way and carry the truth into the dark corners of the world, we bring light, hope and deliverance.  Jesus tells the truth about everything; from the atonement to autism, from the resurrection to rickets, from sanctification to spina bifida. 

"So my counsel is: Don't worry about things-food, drink, and clothes . . . [Your] heavenly Father already knows perfectly well that you need them, and he will give them to you if you give him first place in your life and live as he wants you to.

 "So don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time. (Matt 6:25-34TLB)

Whether you and I put this hope -- that God will care for us -- to good use is wholly our choice.  

Lord, I believe – help Thou my unbelief – and please send me. (Mark 9:24; Isaiah 6)

Equal Rights to be Stupid

She made a point women should consider, and then Ms Schaeffer asked a good question:

“If, as a society, we’re interested in seeing fewer sex scandals, we need to ask more than what is wrong with men today . . . What about the role women play in infidelities?” (Sabrina Schaeffer, The Dallas Morning News, June 19, 2011, Op-Ed page, link)

The Internet has opened wide the door for women to be as unwise as men in indulging their private habits. And Eugene Robinson reminds sexual adventurers that unlike former times, the Internet never forgets an indiscretion. “Bad decisions don’t die . . . Once you’ve sent a message or photograph into cyberspace, you have to assume it will live forever . . .” (The Dallas Morning News, June 20, 2011)

I always wondered how God could keep track of every careless word I ever uttered, and stupid stunt I pulled.

• Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously.   Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation." (Matt 12:36-37 from THE MESSAGE)  
• For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. (Eccl 12:14)
• Enoch, the seventh from Adam, prophesied about these men: "See, the Lord is coming with thousands upon thousands of his holy ones to judge everyone, and to convict all the ungodly of all the ungodly acts they have done in the ungodly way, and of all the harsh words ungodly sinners have spoken against him." (Jude 14-15)

If man could invent a tracking device the likes of the Internet, what must God’s look like? (!)  The mercy is that God has a reset button – one that purges all our accounts with Him. (Isaiah 1:18)

We may still have to pay the price of our folly in the court of public opinion, but His Son’s death has bought us new life. My prayer for Mr. Weiner, the women who encouraged or accommodated his gross infidelities, and even those who exposed his waywardness, that they will let God have their “cookies,” emptying their cache into God’s life-giving fountain of forgiveness and life.  

John Lennon & My New Food Processor.

It took me long enough to decide; Saturday I did. I bought a food processor. With discounts and rebates I saved twenty dollars. Which is good because the trip to the Urgent-care was $25.00.

Unpacking the machine with care, I had been mindful of the sharp blade; warily I picked up the chopper with my left hand and it flew out, grazing my thumb and to fingers and palm. Catching it with my right hand, it sliced a moon shape into my third finger. Scrambling to help, Doug assembled the first aid station, and went to work – when the bleeding did not stop, we headed over to the professional band-aiders. They fixed me up and renewed my tetanus vaccination.

And our adventure happened on a Monday. Needless to say, my agenda changed. So, now, I gaze now across my desk at the sunshine and shadows that are today’s gifts – and agree with Robert Fulghum: “If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience.”

I reflect that God, who knew I needed a way to the Urgent-care, saw to it the luncheon that would have occupied my hubby was canceled. He also saw to it the snow and ice were totally gone, too. He put me into the care of capable, kind folks in a clean facility. There, I thought about our soldiers. And my friends who are undergoing rehabilitation, cancer treatment, and palliative care as their lives end. So many I know and love, and more whom I know only by reputation have had their plans “changed.” “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans,” John Lennon observed.

The food processor gleams on the counter – almost saying, “Want to play again.” Well, not today, or, even tomorrow. Some of the recipes that convinced me of my need for a food processor involve “moisture.” I can hunt and peck out my tale – but I can’t do much else that involves moisture. Therefore, I am putting off all those amazing recipes for health and fitness for a few more days.

Sometimes the littlest things in life are the hardest to take. You can sit on a mountain more comfortably than on a tack. ~Author Unknown

I Wasn’t Thinking

"Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example." Carlson's Consolation (from Murphy's Laws)


In Dallas, the temperature rarely has been cold enough for long enough to burst water pipes. Because we have vacuum breakers on the outdoor hoses, we didn’t worry about them freezing – unlike in Maryland. So with milder temperatures, we forgot you have to removes the hoses from the spigots to make the vacuum breakers function

Now we had a good warning that temps would plummet tonight – in fact if I heard it once I heard it a ga-zillion times: tonight will be the coldest night in 15 years.

So, an hour ago, snugged before the fire, we heard the TV weatherman warn about outside pipes; we looked at each other and swung into action. Doug suited up; I got some pliers. Out he went, and quickly discovered both outdoor faucets had frozen, with the hoses firmly attached. As he wrestled, with disengaging them, a young neighbor came to help.

I guess we will know later if or how much damage our lack of foresight will cost.

This is an uncomfortable reminder of one or two other things I forgot – like giving to the homeless shelters. We give, but on an inconsistent basis. I’ve known about their needs: the Dallas Morning news covers it; so does our church as a part of our urban ministry. Same Kinda Different as Me, a collaborative book by Ron Hall and Denver Moore was a powerful testimony to the pain and redemption of homelessness right in the D/FW area. But I tuned out my conscience’s pings – even last night when I wrote about the coming storms.

That’s really what “I wasn’t thinking” means.

So, I looked up quotes on excuses on my two favorite sites: Christiansquoting.com and Quotegarden.com. I found a few thought provokers:

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” - Abraham Lincoln, 1809 - 1865

The person who really wants to do something finds a way; the other person finds an excuse. ~Author Unknown

And oftentimes excusing of a fault
Doth make the fault the worse by the excuse.
~William Shakespeare

I don’t want to forget about what someone from Australia said after reading  yesterday’s blog about the monster cold storm enveloping 2/3 of their country. The writer described a set of storms hitting Australia this week in areas already devastated by floods of biblical proportions. It’s a storm on the scale of Katrina.

Here’s a reminder of how to start helping:
(The Not-For-Profits Reminder)

The Cost of Ownership

Time lost is too rarely realized as an irreplaceable gem until it is long gone from its setting.  A downside of our recent yard sale was the growing awareness that managing my stuff foreclosed being with people: no time to dally over coffee, take a long walk, shoot the breeze, or ask a question. No, I had to be about hauling, sorting, discarding, keeping, selling repositories of my memories, while the most valuable commodity I had – time with folks I love – slid away.  A hidden price of my treasures cost me time with my husband, a conversation with my daughter; the cost kept me from listening to my son, watching my grandchildren, and calling a friend. If I had known this unseen but real cost of all the possessions –  slated for disposal – would I have been so ready to buy? 

Blessed Be the Tie That Binds – Even those that Chafe

“Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?—every, every minute?” (“Our Town” by Thornton Wilder)

We are removing the carpet and appliances and window coverings in our new home today. Twenty-one years ago, they were brand-spanking new – and top of the line. Ah – the best of the ‘80's. The carpet is wool, and a shade of green I have always loved; the drapes are clearly custom made from fabric whose patterns and colors I also like – but they are “dated.” Even without the furniture which the carpet and drapes set off, I can see the little home was more than cozy. The home was lovingly remodeled for an older woman – a widow; now she lives in a nursing home.

Twenty-one years ago, we were about to begin homeschooling our children who were in fifth and first grade with the Calvert School curriculum. Our home was not so color-coordinated – but it was comfy – and way nosier/messier and chaotic than this cottage for a single mature woman.

Perhaps, the former owner of our new home would agree with Mr. Wilder, the playwright: “Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?—every, every minute?” (Our Town) If, twenty-one years ago, she looked with delight on her newly re-furbished home, did she ever anticipate a day when another woman would sweep away all her carefully designed choices?

Twenty-one years ago, I was able to have so many conversations with so many people: my mother was still alive, and so was Doug’s dad, and his mom and her husband; his brother was also still alive; my aunt and her daughter were still living; our kids were always about. Every once in a while I still catch myself thinking, “Oh, Mom would think this is crazy,” – or “I need to tell Virginia or Karen about this.” Death ended so many conversations – and distance now impedes others. When I surveyed the boxes of curriculum from Calvert I couldn’t imagine the time when no confluence of lesson plans and housekeeping and tending family would exhaust me. I told myself I would think about all the problems tomorrow, and sort them out. So focused on what I thought the prize is would be – a first rate education for our kids – I didn’t understand many parts of the advantages of simply being home with the world’s best kids.

Throughout the three-act play, Mr. Wilder, who embraced his Puritan heritage, inserted the hymn, “Blessed Be the Tie That Binds.” (By John Fawcett) I urge you gentle reader to review its words, especially if some of your biding ties chafe.

If I could go back to August 14, 1988 – and just enjoy that day again – what would I have done? Like Emily in Thornton Wilder’s “Our Town” I am coming to see that the tragedy of death is not greater than the tragedy of living carelessly - assuming that tomorrow will be time enough to do and say all the little kindness we imagine we might do. When Emily Webb, after her death, steps into the past, revisiting the morning of her twelfth birthday - she sees how incredibly wonder-full that morning was – though it was not extraordinary – and how insensitive both she and her family were to its beauty.

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

Before our Father’s throne
We pour our ardent prayers;
Our fears, our hopes, our aims are one
Our comforts and our cares.

We share each other’s woes,
Our mutual burdens bear;
And often for each other flows
The sympathizing tear.

When we asunder part,
It gives us inward pain;
But we shall still be joined in heart,
And hope to meet again.

This glorious hope revives
Our courage by the way;
While each in expectation lives,
And longs to see the day.

From sorrow, toil and pain,
And sin, we shall be free,
And perfect love and friendship reign
Through all eternity.