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| Thorns in my Garden |
An unscratchable itch is one way to describe eczema, which
is an irritated or inflamed skin condition. Over the past year or so, it has
been a new normal for me* – teaching me lessons about dependency, embarrassment
and compassion, reminding me even annoying little afflictions can help me
understand bigger truths
Eczema can hurt like an unexpected thrust of a thorn;
pruning roses, I know what it feels like when my hand brushes against the
formidable thorns on the old rose bushes in our yard. Its pain can be a real handicap! So, when Paul said, “I have been given the gift of a handicap to keep
me in constant touch with my limitations.” I can now better imagine his frustration. (2
Corinthians 12:6-10)
Granted, on a scale of handicaps, mine barely qualifies for
the least of them, but when the eczema flares, all kinds of simple chores and
pleasures become more complicated because my stupid fingers hurt or bleed all
over the place. And the itch is unsettling in the
rapidity with which it robs me of charm.
Ugh!
I have learned eczema is not uncommon, and it affects children more frequently than
adults -- I really feel for little ones who can’t understand how to cope with
the spiky itching that is a hallmark of this thing!
The
exact cause of eczema is unknown, but it's thought to be linked to an
overactive response by the body's immune system to an irritant. It is this
response that causes the symptoms of eczema. (See WebMD
– my go-to source for freaking myself out!)
So, what is irritating me?
Too much chili or barbecue? Too many tacos? Surely not!
Or, maybe, this irritant is invisible: fear, worry, and
resentments, or fatigue?
Because we aren’t certain of its causes, we have no foolproof
cures. This year – when I screwed up the courage to mention my hands, folks,
even younger than I, told me they struggle with crackly, dry, painful skin.
Moreover, everybody has a recommendation for a lotion, ointment, or tonic, including superglue! Some suggestions
work well, others -- not so much.
The relief comes and goes. Suddenly, tiny cracks or itchy
blisters may re-appear, sending small shock waves of itchy pain. Interestingly,
I can see those cracks are along the line where I formerly cut or burned my
fingers or thumb or palm – it’s as
if the healing has been superficial, and beneath layers of skin, damage
persists – a reminder that being past something doesn’t mean being over
it.
My faith teaches that God has separated me from my sins as
far as east is from west. (Psalm
103:11-12) But I can recall details of what was buried -- which can be
equally disabling and discomforting. The longer my walk with Christ, the
sharper my memory seems, too! When the memory of my meanness -- in all the nuances of
that word – breaks out, precious little relieves the awful spiritual itch.
The heart has its reasons, which reason does not
know. We feel it in a thousand things.
~Blaise Pascal
I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray
of my heart: I am, I am, I am.
~Sylvia Plath
Crackly skin may just qualify as another thorn, one that
time and again drives me to distraction, or discipline and prayer. Like the
unexpected tear on my fingers or thumb need cleansing and care, my heart does
too. I need consider cleansing and
talk candidly to God like David did. (Psalm
51) Or, maybe I need comfort, balm, which only God can offer, and also the
literal help of sleeping well and eating healthy stuff. (1 Kings 19)
·
The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs
it. Whether he's got an abscess on his knee or in his soul. ~Rona Barrett
·
Lord, help me
not to despise or oppose what I do not understand. ~William Penn
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