Cleaning Up Messes
Periodically I check who reads what on my blog, and when
they stop by. Life
is Messy – remains an oft-visited post. Maybe it’s the cartoon, or, the scary
dust bunnies’ photo? Or, maybe some readers recognize:
·
They’ve been hurt or have hurt others;
·
Their circumstances are changing in ways they
could not imagine and so, life is increasingly messy.
·
Now, they are mad, or scared, and hurt.
I made so many messes in my life when I got mad at another
person. Somehow, anger fired up my
heart and idled my brain. In this
state, fired up but idling, I can be quite adept at justifying why Biblical
principles of peacemaking don’t apply in this situation. So, I can disregard
the inherent worth of the person who is irritating me, and discount the value
of the relationship that God had established, or permitted. Alas, in some quarrels, so convinced
was I of my position, I rode roughshod
over some folks, treating those I should have honored with scorn and distain.
Righteousness
indignation isn’t much of a cleaning tool.
That's why it really hurts to see folks in the church
consistently brandishing this tool. When quarrels break out, we struggle
with our anger over other people’s shortcomings. Christ said this would happen
and He said how to handle it: Go to your brother or sister – and don’t let
the sun go down on your anger! (Matthew 5:23, 18:15; Ephesians 4:26) Anger
left to stew over night eventually stinks, and Christians can do some stupid,
cruel things to each other when we feed on our own frustrations!
Some of them can’t seem to get beyond disappointment,
dissatisfaction, or disgust that a person with whom they work, worship or live has
failed them. Confessing Christians blow up at others
because they simply failed to do or be what we wanted them to do or be.
Yet Paul said, carry one another’s burdens — reprove gently the
one caught in a trespass — lest I do something far worse. (Galatians 6:1-2) Yet, I may
put burdens on them I excuse myself for not fully bearing. (Matthew
11:28-31) For example, if I am honest: I want my Christian friends and
family, pastors and teachers to be perfect – mature, wise and winsome. And God
help them if they mess up!
What kind of witness is it if we refuse to simply go to the
Christian who wronged me, real or imagined, and ask if we can talk? Timing, of
course, is everything – so, praying for the opportunity and courage is
essential; God also might show us what is in our hearts and so prepare us for a
better conversation than if we charged out the door on a mission. (Psalm
51:12-13)