Gardening Goals

Last week, as the weather warmed, I had such a yen to fill up all the barren flowerbed spots with bunches of plants – plants that could not survive a sudden plunge in temperatures. (And it has turned chilly in recent days!) I longed to see blooming red geraniums – reminders and portenders of good summer times. And I wanted to see roses everywhere there’s a gap in the garden!

 

UGH!

But, sobered by a warning about knock-out roses’ susceptibility to “diseases” and remembering that rain is not a given here in July, August and September, I rethought my daydreams to recreate an east-coast style “spring” garden. (As if that’s what my “gardens” ever looked like when I lived there!)

Moreover, that winter ice storm gave me an extra patch of dirt to beautify -- the spot from whence  our ice-laden old cedar departed. This spot enjoys the afternoon sun, unfiltered, and little water.  

 

Barren and BORING!

 It’s tempting to quickly fill it up with favorites but even geraniums bred for Texas heat, and knockout roses would be poor choices. What I need are plants that can withstand heat and drought -- but most of them aren’t my first choice.

Musing on what to plant and where leads me again to think about my own  opportunities to keep on flourishing in the “golden years.”  Bloom where you are planted is an exasperating adage.

Coming closer to seventy than I care to admit, I have gained understanding, insight, and so much practical experience – so much good advice to give!   But just when it seems the perfect time to plant some of these precious “seeds,” I hear wise women in my past say, “Keep your opinions to yourself – and be useful instead of an expert.”  Then, I remember:  I can’t force desires or daydreams to become realities, anymore than I can force Maryland –friendly plants to take root in Texas.

A good gardening goal, literally and spiritually, is to do things differently instead of only talking about it. I am still itching to fill in around the house with vibrant, long lasting color – and Paul reminds me, there’s still work to do in this “autumn” garden of mine:

·      Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.

·      Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

·      Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant.

·      Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder.

·      Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

·      Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up.

·      Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.

·      Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody.

·      Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”

·      Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness.

·      Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good. Romans 12:9-21 (The Message)

Reminders and Portenders

Still on a Desert Trek

Spending two weeks reading the book of Leviticus has been an interesting sojourn, given the recent political and social climate: especially, the current fight over who can refuse service to whom, and why. And now we have before us, bills on both state and national levels to protect a small business’ right to refuse service to people whose conduct violates the business folks’ religion.

Opponents of the SB1062, a religious freedom bill, urged Gov. Brewer to veto the bill during a protest rally at the state Capitol, Feb. 21, 2014.

Cheryl Evans/The Arizona Republic/AP

For the wonder and greatness of all America is – she is not a Christian nation – or a theocracy. Nor, is our culture tied as firmly to the Bible as we have been to Poor Richard’s Almanac. Don’t get me wrong: I am proud of all our nation enjoys because of many faithful, intelligent, wise men and women who worshipped Christ. And I deeply regret how many times we not only could have done better – we did wrong, using the Bible as a weapon that was not ours to wield. 

Now, though, I see a wee bit of difference between the right our church enjoys to teach and practice that marriage is between one man and one woman, and a   business, run by Christians, refusing to sell a service or product to some one believes differently.

“I will always stand up for my pastor’s right to say ‘I’m not going to perform a gay marriage,’ and I will have to take whatever comes with that, basically, and I don’t expect anybody to feel sorry for me because of it,” [Kirsten Powers] said.

“Sometimes I hear a lot of Christians talking in a very self-pitying way, like ‘woe is us because this is the way society is going,’” she said. “That’s not religious persecution by the state. That is the society basically saying ‘we have different views than you have.’”  (Dueling Pundits)

Because of these different views, I think it’s also time remember that while suffering [well] for our convictions may be new to us – it's not to those who have gone before us.

(Pink Slip Speech )

Reading in Leviticus, all twenty-seven chapters of clear commands, and their references to what the Lord Jesus said, I don’t see how the church can affirm same-sex marriages. Yet, many do, and this is splitting apart churches – emptying pews of people on all sides of the debate who have had it with hypocrites.  ( Anne Rice: Letting Go of Religion)

That’s the freedom of no state-enforced religion!

But, how is the church to be salt and light in generation that passionately believes in its right to pursue what they believe is right?

Here again, Leviticus – God’s commands to HIS priests, and His people on how to live in a pagan land -- is as simple, intimate and unequivocal about service as it is sex. (See Leviticus 19) And frankly, I wish our consciences were as mortified about our own propensity to put our selves above serving the poor and the aliens --  as we are over the choices people make who have yet to choose God. (Joshua 24:15)

For now, my job remains:  try to figure out how to be useful to this generation, and

·      Live so [my] descendants will know I am the Lord your God. (Lev. 23:42-43)

Gray Days & Gratitude

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Autumn's Yet to Be Spring Garden

From this corner of the garden – literally and metaphorically – it’s a gray day.  No matter that in that respite I was able to clean up the scraggly remains of last autumn’s additions to the garden – I am grumpy because I can’t put in all the colorful annuals that herald a Texas spring, since a sudden frost remains a distinct possibility until late March.   Forget the blessed memory of the past few days of weather that was sunny & seventy; today is gray – somewhat oppressive – capturing perfectly my heart’s malaise. 

I am bewildered by the losses sustained by some friends, and the trials that others endure, especially the unimaginable burdens a young boy bears in a hospital bed in Maryland.   And the news headlines are as worrisome and perplexing as ever.  Looking back over three years of blog posts – news still takes a toll on the spirit and baffles the mind. 

If I can't plow up flowerbeds, then I'll dig around to find what others are thinking about hard times. 

 

Philip Yancy repeated a joke going around Sarajevo in their nightmare years that sums up this “new normal” that too many loved ones now have:

“Do you know the difference between an optimist and a pessimist? 

A pessimist says, ‘Oh dear, thing’s can’t possibly get any worse.’ An optimist says, “Don’t be so sad. Things always get worse.”

In sum, I avoid trying to answer the Why? question because any attempt will inevitably fall short and may even rub salt in an open wound. As Jesus’ followers, we can instead offer a loving and sympathetic presence that may bind wounds and heal a broken heart. . .
  . . . As a counterbalance to the list of seven deadly sins, the church in the Middle Ages came up with a list of seven works of mercy: to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, house the homeless, visit the sick, ransom the captives, bury the dead . . .

. . . not all of us can serve on the front lines of mercy . . . I . . . came up with an additional list of spiritual works of mercy: to instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, admonish sinners, bear wrongs patiently, forgive offences willingly, comfort the afflicted, pray for the living and the dead. (Philip Yancey, The Question That Never Goes Away. pages 47,40, 41)

So, if Mr. Yancey is right, I see that I am never without something to do in the midst of heartache or upheaval."Gray" still has a good deal of light in it.

On this gray day then, I need to turn from what I can’t change, and change what I can; I will soak in the comforting, convicting counsel from Dr. Tony Evans:

You may think you don't have everything you want, but God expects you to be grateful for what you have.

Hmmmmm:

·      I have a yard, with flowerbeds that are ready to be planted, when the weather permits, and I have time to pray.

·      Today, I have the health to hope for gardening chores, and time to pray.

·      I live in a country that remains the inspiration of people fighting tyrannies more grim than ever, and the freedom to pray.

And I managed to get a sweet arrangement of hearty winter pansies to remind me: It ain’t over yet.  If it were all bright and sunny and hot – the pansies would shrivel up.

Parts of Speech and Suffering

Cheryl Joyner*

He slipped in behind us at the memorial for our friend who lost her battle with cancer.  In the few short years that I had known him, he had changed from a sweet little boy of 8 or 9 into a handsome man in the making of 15. Less than two weeks later Doug and I sat, watching the sanctuary fill up with a thousand hurting hearts – gathering to commemorate the life he took in “a terrible tragic moment.”   

Robert "Tex" Higginbotham, Jr.*

Attending two memorial services in less than one month generates sorrow and bewilderment.

Asking why is not wrong, the pastor said. But from whence we seek the answers is key: conventional wisdom and common sense often aggravate the pain. And when we look inside ourselves, the answers are often a painful dead-end.  What we find there is too often guilt, fear, shame, and humiliation, as well as anger, anguish, and confusion – the fruit of the mankind’s Fall. (Genesis 3) 

Some may say,  “All I can say about Christians: You people will believe anything.” (Randall Dean, Dallas Morning News, Letter, February 4, 2014)  

Did God really say . . .?  I believe God did say many things that bear on our sorrows, and answer our hearts’ deepest cry.  And I believe that seeking Him in the midst of nightmares such as cancer and suicide is the only answer to this anguish. (1 Chronicles 16:11)

Christians believe there is a purpose and hope in every human life that is created – that an infinite and personal God rules and reigns, and one day, death and sorrow will cease. (Psalm 139:13-16; Romans 8:28, 37-39; Revelation 21:1-5) The family whose child -- brother, nephew, grandson – acted impulsively and wrongly, testified nevertheless to the gift this young man’s life was to them and us – and to the gift that God’s Son and Spirit are to them.

And as if by special delivery, I received an e-mail meditation from one who knows a bit about suffering:

Does God ordain? Permit? Plan? Allow? The verb is not so much the important thing as the noun: God. And God is love.   

Your ways are higher than mine, Lord, and Your thoughts are unsearchable. I praise You that one day You will give us the key that will unlock sense out of seemingly senseless suffering. ~ Joni Eareckson Tada

 Who do people say I am, the Lord asked of His disciples – who do you say I am?   (Matthew 16)

Cheryl Joyner

Robert "Tex" Higginbotham

Harriet Deison

Winter Grace – Try Harder, OK?

The cold weather blew in the last night of the session – dropping the comfortable Texas temperatures to the low teens. Stepping out into the bracing breezes, I wondered about all that I had heard in the worship services – what am I supposed to do next?  Their theme was Deep into the Heart -- Wide into the World. Dr. Tim Keller and Fernando Ortega guided three worship services that addressed who we are – that is the church; how Christians integrate our faith and our work; and, what do our words look like in action.   (Link to the three sessions)

What I took away was, quit whining about how hard, scary, or unfair life is and make myself useful – be a part of the church, and lavish my time, talents, and resources on the poor.  The message to me, as part of the body of Christ, was: Give, not just to relieve the sufferings of the poor – but to empower them to rise above their circumstances. (Deuteronomy 4:5-8, 15:1-15) We have the position – a royal priesthood; the wherewithal – all kinds of jobs in which we may serve others while earning our keep; and we have a mandate that transcends Bible times.

Seriously?

Whew -- This is a tough message to hear in the times in which we live – my fear of running out of money, health, wisdom, or even time itself,  frequently sidelines me. That, and plain old, garden-variety selfishness. (Luke 12:15-21)

Dr. Keller wasn’t waging a new war on poverty. The church can’t change the world, Dr. Keller said, carefully; we will have the poor among us.  But, we can make disciples who can do some changing, and who will serve the poor, do justice, love kindness and walk humbly with our God.  (Micah 6:8) Our giving -- time, resources, love and prayers -- must be abundant, for who of us can say we pulled ourselves out of our problems by our bootstraps? 

Suddenly, Dr. Keller’s decidedly low-key confrontation of the self-absorption that can consume me, made me think of a question the pastor asked the previous Sunday. If my faith sounded forth as a song, how would my kids describe the song of my life? 

Hmmmmmm.  I am not sure astonishing generosity to the poor would be its title or refrain.   

Walking out into the cold, reflecting on what I have withheld more often than given, Bible passages, exhortations, gently unyielding, and music blew around my brain:    

  

Do I hear you professing to believe in the one and only God, but then observe you complacently sitting back as if you had done something wonderful? . . . Do you suppose for a minute that you can cut faith and works in two and not end up with a corpse on your hands? (James 2, The Message)

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

I think I’ll take hold of the gift that time is – remembering I really can’t out give God. But I could sure try harder.  

This good day – it is a gift for me! Once more, Sing with me!

If rainclouds come, or cold winds blow –

You’re the one that goes before me,

                  and in my heart I know -- 

This good day, it is a gift from You;

The world is turning in its place because You made it to . . .

I lift my voice to sing a song of praise for this good day. *

*Fernando Ortega

There Are No Shortcuts to Anywhere Worth Going

 

Beverly Sill's Tombstone 

I wrote out some notes on Leviticus yesterday – carefully saved them. (I thought) And I prepared to email them to a friend who asked me to develop a few points on chapters 8-10, not the happiest story Scripture records. Only, when I attached the file – I saw there was no file – no record of any notes – no nothing. I could not retrieve them. Nor, could Doug. It was as if the computer said, I ate them and they are gone.

I’ve never lost any file so completely since my computer crashed this time last year.

So, back I went into Leviticus, Chapters 1-10. I reworked the notes, reviewing once again the unhappy end of Nadad and Abihu, the first priests, men who took shortcuts in worship, and the consequent grief of Aaron, the high priests and his other sons and priests, Eleazar and Ithamar. (Leviticus 10:1-3) And for the first time, I thought how their fiery death affected Moses and the people of Israel who saw fire blaze forth from the Lord’s presence and upon these two men, outing them to death.

 

But the story did not end with the first priests’ fiery execution.

Moses was careful to record how God reestablished Aaron and his sons and what He said:

⁸ The Lord then spoke to Aaron, saying, ⁹ “Do not drink wine or strong drink, neither you nor your sons with you, when you come into the tent of meeting, so that you will not die—it is a perpetual statute throughout your generations— ¹⁰ and so as to make a distinction between the holy and the profane, and between the unclean and the clean, ¹¹ and so as to teach the sons of Israel all the statutes which the Lord has spoken to them through Moses.”

God also made provision for Aaron’s family in subsequent generations, understanding and even affirming Aaron’s grief.  

I am tempted to turn away from such a deity – for I know many shortcuts I take in my spiritual life.  And for all those I remember, means I surely have forgotten or ignored many, many others.  So, given my propensities, maybe I needed to reconsider how God wants His priests to behave. (1 Peter 2:4-10) 

My habits –or preferences -- may make me think I am worshiping when I’m not.  Maybe I needed to reread what holiness and right worship look like – and maybe I needed a goad to remember that if there are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going, (Beverly Sills) there are even fewer shortcuts to holiness or worship.  

·      A well-beaten path does not always make the right road. (Author unknow)

·      There is no pleasure in life equal to that of the conquest of a vicious habit. (Author unknown)

·      We are quite ignorant of the real power of our habits until we try to give them up. ~ Clive Staples Lewis (1898-1963)   (Source of quotes)

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers.

 We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin.

So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give.

Take the mercy, accept the help. (Hebrews 4:16-19, The Message)

Back in the Saddle, So to Speak.

Christmas is officially over – we arrived back in Dallas to see all the Christmas decorations that stir up happy hopes, gone until the day after Halloween 2014. Our wreath remains, though – and hey, since it’s not drooping or brown, it stays!

I am not quite ready to pack away even the minimal decorations . . . an anomaly for me.  Only a few are ones we had in Maryland – but they along with ones we “inherited” from Doug’s mom, or collected on our estate cruises, they quietly remind me Christmas need not end because one day is over.   

Our Cards!

A simple pleasure this morning was opening the Christmas cards that accumulated in our absence – God has given us wonderful family and friends! It’s a delight to be remembered – and to remember.    

Slowly sipping coffee, and reading the newspaper – another satisfying anachronism, I learned that American Idol returns tonight and that the government has figured out a back door into my computer – not exactly news. I think I prefer knowing about the return of a  talent show than the reality that the horse is long gone out of the privacy barn.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Will Rogers

Reviewing a Book Not Quite Finished

This time last year I was reeling because an older acquaintance ended her life, leaving her family stunned and grieving. This year I am again reeling because a young friend died unexpectedly from an aggressive form of cancer. Last year, one woman wanted her life over, the other fought with all she had to stay alive.

Early in my friend’s battle, I sat with her in the ER as she struggled against pain. She was young enough to be my child, and her fight astonished me into silence, as I sat alongside her, watching her struggle against pain the disease inflicted. Unseen powers – the cancer and the meds -- clashed within her and robbed me of words to describe the impression of being permitted on holy ground.

I had just started Timothy Keller’s book, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering shortly before my friend was diagnosed. I couldn’t remember anything worth repeating! But, she wanted me to sing – hymns of comfort . . . croaking was all I could manage.  

I am reading Dr. Keller’s  book slowly; aware of her struggle, but also with the awareness that so many people are hurting, and Bible-speak  is no comfort!  People don’t want victory chants or verses – we want a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean upon – a guide who knows the way through dark, scary, hurtful places; a friend who is faithful. Fancy arguments and religious jargon can quickly become like gibberish or weapons. (Remember Job’s friends?)

I thought I knew most of the arguments Dr. Keller would advance in his book. However, seeing my young friend and her family suffer reminded me how inadequate my understanding is – especially when no words properly describe the anguish disease inflicts.

. . . Suffering takes away the loves, joys, comforts that we rely on to give life meaning.  How can we maintain our poise, or even our peace and joy, when it happens? The answer is that we can do that only when we locate our meaning in things that can’t be touched by death.” (p. 40)

But what thing could ever be untouched by death – or decay?  

So far, reading through the book has been like studying a huge quilt, skillfully pieced together so that I can discover again God’s personal handiwork. Dr. Keller shows us the big picture of how humans cope, how Christians cope, and how individual Christians cope – Philosophy, religion, and faith views. Describing a diversity of views on suffering – contrasting them with that the Bible says about why people suffer –   he has pieced together a work that is as useful and necessary as a warm quilt on a cold night.  Some see pain and suffering as a crazy quilt of anguish; the Bible sees an order and purpose – and often with a dimension that is not discernible in the here and now.  The Bible tells me, a person, not a thing, gives meaning and purpose to what looks senseless. (Isaiah 45:7) God is the border of the quilt, and He is its center point. And God stitches it all together. 

I hear Christ ask Martha, Do you believe this? (John 11:25-26)

Whenever or however death ends life, it changes how we who survive live. So far, in the book, I can see that I can come under this quilt for protection, or stand outside of it, critiquing the handiwork. 

“I can’t help them; God can; and I will let Him . . .” (p. 229)

This is the day!

The first day of this New Year, 2014, is crisp, sunny and clear – but the prospect of a good old Nor'easter looms.  Such storms have changed many of our plans over the years, snowing us in our homes for days at a time . . . In 1996, our son returned from his first semester at college in Michigan, and found [to his dismay] just as much, or more, snow as he left.

NEW JOURNAL!

True to some instinctive impulse, we went to the store yesterday and bought a few essentials so we won’t starve – peanut butter, soup, coffee and milk, which neither of us drinks. We Marylanders have been known to mob stores just before a storm whose predictions are worse than their reality – depleting it of coffee, milk and toilet paper. Living in Texas has not moderated the urge.  If I am not careful, listening too closely to the Weather Channel, could keep me stocking up on stuff I will not live long enough to use.

Fear is a powerful motivator  -- and it motivates me to say and do things that are counterproductive.  Words can’t overcome fear . . . any more than stockpiles of coffee and toilet paper will protect me from a storm or tornado. Preparedness, however wise, may not always protect either.

When I came into Al-Anon’s rooms, I was surprised to hear that 90% of what we fear will happen, rarely does; it’s the other 10%, of which we rarely thought, that messes us up.  I worried a member of my family would take the whole family down with their drinking (causing me enormous shame). It never crossed my mind that a power greater than myself could and would intervene in their life and mine.

Almost forty years ago, I came to believe that a power greater than myself could do what I could not . . . and what the God of my understanding did when I let go of projecting my fears on the future changed my present. And He gave me the daily choice -- how to live in the present, letting go of fear and regret.  That’s 14,000 days mas o menos to have chosen whom or what to serve. (Joshua 24:15)

Too often, I chose to serve fear.

Fear may be a false god – but that doesn’t make it any less real.    

Whatever commands your hope will control your heart, and what controls your heart will direct your words and behavior. (Paul Tripp)

Happy New Year to thee and me, gentle reader. Hoping and praying that God of my understanding, the One who is, will guard and equip us to keep the faith He freely offers through storms, real and imagined.  (Hebrews 13:20-21)